


Bated Breath

by thedeadflag



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-01 11:56:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4018813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedeadflag/pseuds/thedeadflag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke was counting down the hours until she'd achieved a hard-won month-long reprieve of driving Octavia to Lincoln's, having been her best friend's designated driver for months. But then she meets Lexa, manages to get them both into a mess, and ends up owing the woman a favor. Yet, Clarke still wouldn't mind time slowing down a little bit for as long as Lexa's with her<br/>A modern 'Fake dating' AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When I was brainstorming writing exercises to get back in the saddle, I couldn't help but linger on the fake-dating trope, and I thought stepping out of my comfort zone into a new, if familiar fandom would work. I made slight adjustments to better fit the modern au, and while I can't say I feel confident having their voices down, especially given this is an AU and a writing exercise with a strict time deadline for myself, I'd like to think this wasn't a terrible start. It's been interesting feeling the characters out, honestly. This will be a budding romance sort of thing, with bits of angst and hurt/comfort where appropriate, in case you're wondering
> 
> I usually just post really long one-shots, but it apparently turns out that this mini-fic kind of works a little better in chapter format given it splits Clarke's night up into four pretty even quarters (at least, that's the feedback I got). Which also gives me time to finish editing the remaining chapters properly. The story's finished, either way, and I'll update once a day until all chapters are released.
> 
> And maybe I'll dip my toes into Clexa again in the future, or perhaps some Anya/Clarke...hrm...either way, I do enjoy the 100, and its fandom. :)
> 
> Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed the first part of this mini-fic! Thank you for reading!

Clarke Griffin was not a happy camper. Not that she was out camping; no, had she been, she would have been thrilled to enjoy the fresh air and the brighter night skies that the city's light pollution dulled. She would have the company of trees and running water, and assuredly a comfy spot to sit and draw the world around her, all in solitude.

Instead, she was at a party, on the promise that Octavia wouldn't drag her to another one for at least a month. Her best friend had developed a crush on another new man, and had insisted passionately that Lincoln was _the one_. Which honestly was pretty big for Octavia, given the woman had never really believed in that sort of thing before, which made the new boyfriend special.

Well, if only Octavia could make things official between them, which meant going to a lot of parties with him, and her requiring a wing-woman or sober drive home if things were to go poorly. Clarke had suggested a cab that first night Octavia brought her, but her best friend still seemed entirely distrustful of them ever since she woke up on a random doorstep in Annapolis one drunken night and a cab ride later. For good reason, Clarke supposed.

Still, it made things a little frustrating, often losing at least one night a week to Octavia's outings, and while she really did want her best friend to be happy, Clarke hadn't had a full weekend to herself in nearly a year. Which meant little to no traveling, no camping, no road trips down the coast, nothing that couldn't have her back in the D.C area within five or six hours. Clarke hoped Lincoln truly was the one, so that both her and Octavia's partying lives could take a bit of a break.

First, it had been some 'tall dark and handsome' dude; Adam, she thought, who toyed with Octavia for weeks until he moved onto someone else. Then it had been Jasper, who had been a nice change of pace aside from all of his parties making her smell like she'd hot-boxed for twelve hours straight, but he grew paranoid and possessive, and that had Octavia pulling the plug. A few others had briefly mixed in between Jasper and Lincoln, but the theme remained; there would be a party, and Octavia would need her to be there with her.

Which wouldn't have been so rough if her bestie would stick around out in the open, so Clarke could hang out with her for at least half of the night, but it rarely went that way. Not that Octavia was a bad friend, she was incredibly supportive and fantastic in just about every other way, so Clarke knew she didn't have much room to complain. It just meant that she'd rarely have a quiet weekend, and that her own dating life would tend to take a bit of a backseat. And most importantly, that their nights out together would rarely be spent together.

On the plus side, Lincoln's kitchen was fully stocked (and expressly made available to her for driving Octavia all the way out to his place for the fifth straight weekend), and since most of the partygoers were out back by the bonfire, or in the living room playing drinking games, she was set to make the most of it.

It didn't take long to find all the ingredients she needed, and soon Clarke was brewing up her homemade hot chocolate recipe, because Lincoln's place was very nice, but it had poor insulation, and the late autumn chill had a managed to creep inside to some degree. Clarke had planned ahead with her favourite sweater dress and thermal leggings, but unless she went and tossed on her parka, she knew her clothes wouldn't keep her as warm as toasty as she'd like. Thus, hot chocolate.

It didn't take long to finish, but when Clarke went to grab a mug, she was met with a predicament; Lincoln's mugs were all criminally tiny. Everything was standard size, and that just wouldn't do, so she grabbed two and filled them both, topping each off with some marshmallows and took an extra cinnamon stick for a straw. Satisfied, Clarke held both protectively, deciding to avoid the living room and instead try her luck out on the front porch, knowing it wasn't much colder outside than inside.

However, when she neared the hallway that linked the kitchen and the foyer, the blonde couldn't help but overhear a tense conversation nearby that likely meant Clarke would have to figure out another way outside, or a new destination altogether.

"...and you know it meant nothing to me, Lexa. She meant nothing, not like...not like you do." One voice spoke, tone slightly frantic and pleading. Honestly the guilt was downright palpable, and Clarke couldn't help but fill in the fairly obvious blanks.

"Luna, you have to stop. It's over...we've been over for weeks, and the least you can do is leave me alone after...everything. Okay?" Clarke heard a slightly lighter, firmer voice grit out, each word flinty yet clearly a facade to hide the emotion behind them. Clarke heard a brief rustling of fabrics and a light thump that had her peeking into the hallway, spotting a taller, raven-haired woman holding a gorgeous brunette up against the wall.

Or, well, perhaps it was more accurate to say that the taller woman was clinging to the brunette hard enough to press her against the wall, more than anything else. By the brunette's clenched jaw, closed eyes, and white knuckles balled into fists at her side, it was clear that the taller woman's clinging affections were more than a little unwelcome.

"Lexa, come on, I know you, and you know me...we can get through this. We love each other. You can't let one mistake break us apart..." The taller woman spoke in a voice that had made gains in confidence and sensuality, pale hands grazing up and down the brunette's sides. "...I know you walked all the way here like usual, so why don't we go warm up in the shower together like old times? Or head back to your place to get reacquainted?"

The brunette let out a sharp exhale and pushed this 'Luna' away. A little more gently and hesitantly than Clarke likely would have, but it still had the taller woman teetering on her heels for a moment. "I said no, Luna." Lexa ground out carefully, only for the taller woman to move closer and grab for the brunette yet again, prompting the woman to slap her hand away. "I said NO!"

Now, Clarke could tell this situation was clearly personal as hell, and the brunette was handling herself well enough, but this 'Lexa' person was clearly getting upset, and the 'Luna' woman was clearly not willing to let this go without something drastic getting in the way. And it all brought up memories of how Finn was to her months ago after Clarke broke up with him, and how he'd practically stalked her and ruined a whole lot of days and nights before she'd managed to get him to respect her restraining order. No one had come to her defense then, not during his random appearances at her work, or at the grocery store, or on the walk home.

And honestly, maybe it'd backfire, but Clarke saw an opportunity to keep a night from being ruined, and she took it, stepping into the hallway with a concerned frown plastered on her face.

"Lexa? Is everything okay?" She called out, swiftly earning the attention of both women in the hallway. Clarke expected one of them to say something, anything, but deafening silence stretched on, compelling her to keep up the charade. "I heard your voice, and since I know it's cold outside, and I was already making some, I figured you could use something warm to drink after the walk over."

It was a sacrifice, to be sure, handing over one of her delectable cups of hot chocolate, but it seemed to shake the brunette from her daze, the green-eyed woman staring at her with intense confusion as she accepted the mug.

Clarke had hoped that her mere presence would dissolve the situation, but Luna was glaring at her with fury in her eyes, and that smelled a lot like figuring out a 'Plan B' to the blonde.

"I'm not sure if you noticed, but my girlfriend and I were talking, so you can get the hell out of here." Luna growled as she grabbed for Lexa's hand, only for the brunette to swat it away again and step closer to Clarke, eyes clenched shut and swallowing hard.

And maybe Lexa would have eventually spoken, but Clarke could see the pain flash across the brunette's face, and it just didn't seem right to wait and leave the woman to deal with it alone, so she fixed a hard gaze on Luna and stood her ground.

"I'm not sure if Lexa told you, before you apparently ambushed her by the front door, but our plan tonight was for her to walk over around nine-thirty, I'd be waiting on the front porch with some hot chocolate for us, and the two of us would take it from there." Clarke stated coolly, before sparing a lingering glance at Lexa, who looked like she was realizing the out Clarke was offering. "Way to be aggressively punctual, Commander." Clarke added with a teasing smirk, taking a little inspiration from the military-style jacket the brunette wore and clearly hadn't had the time to fully remove before being accosted. It was a bit of a gamble, but Clarke hoped a slight shift in tone could help things de-escalate.

"Like I said last time, arriving fifteen minutes before expected isn't being early, it's being on time." Lexa shot back with a quirked eyebrow and curious eyes before taking a sip from the mug, her eyes immediately bulging. "This is really good."

"I told you it's better than store-bought. But no, apparently you had to bet me that it wouldn't stack up against those single use packets you get. Can I chalk this up as a victory under the glorious banner of Clarke Griffin, or do I need to let you finish the mug before you concede defeat, Commander?" Clarke rattled out, hoping the back and forth banter would send a more prominent hint to Luna to leave them be, and that at least Lexa would know her name if it needed to be used.

Lexa's eyes narrowed at the blonde as she brought the mug to her lips again for a longer taste, some marshmallow foam and cinnamon on her upper lip remaining afterward. "Sometimes we must lose a battle to win a war, Clarke." The brunette spoke almost teasingly, with a somewhat suppressed smile curling at her lips.

"Oh my god...you two can't be...Lexa, you're dating again? Already!?" Luna exclaimed, voice growing angrier and shriller with each passing second. "Not even...not even NINE WEEKS and you've picked up some blonde to shack up with! I can't BELIEVE you!"

The taller woman dashed into the foyer and out the front door, the clacking of her heels almost masking the sound of hitched breathing and hardly suppressed sobs, but Clarke couldn't feel too bad when the brunette's antagonist was gone. Besides, the woman had made an enormous leap from playful banter to assuming they were dating; not exactly a hallmark of a strong mind.

Clarke looked back to Lexa, who was leaning against the wall, brow furrowed and eyes closed, clearly not the happiest person in the world, but Clarke understood that these types of situations weren't exactly happy or easy to handle.

"She thinks we're dating." Lexa let out, voice suddenly sounding so rife with exhaustion.

"I'm sorry...I tried to play the friend-to-the-rescue role first, and then gambled a bit in acting like we're a little better acquainted than we are in hopes she'd back off." Clarke's words didn't seem to be any comfort to the brunette, who let out a frustrated sigh. "I mean...it could be worse, right?"

"Not really, no." Lexa's stiffly voiced words kind of hurt, because Clarke had tried to make things better, and hearing that she wasn't remotely successful? It had her thinking that maybe she should have just backed off and returned to the kitchen do down a few mugs of hot chocolate by her lonesome.

In fact, that seemed like a good 'Plan C', so Clarke let out a regretful "I'm sorry" and slowly made her way back toward the kitchen, where the rest of her hot chocolate was keeping warm on the stovetop. She took a sip from her cinnamon stick straw and wished the drink's deliciousness could chase away her regret, but it just wasn't happening. Maybe another sip would help.

"Clarke..." Lexa called out wearily, footsteps softly following Clarke into the kitchen. "It's just...I'm thankful you managed to get Luna to leave, but...you've also managed to complicate matters."

Clarke topped up her mug and filled another, decorating it with more marshmallows and cinnamon before moving to the kitchen table, looking to Lexa to see if she'd follow. It seemed like the brunette was going to hit her with a sit-down type of discussion, so the kitchen table seemed like a good enough option.

Thankfully, Lexa sat down across from her, sparing a slightly befuddled glance at Clarke's second mug before continuing. "I dated Luna for five years. We were...very serious, if I can spare the details." Lexa added, prompting Clarke to offer a nod in acknowledgement and acceptance. She didn't need the details, just enough to figure out a way to fix things. Clarke wasn't a fan of causing messes and leaving other people to clean them up. "A few weeks ago, I caught her cheating on me with her professor, Ms. Frost."

Clarke let out a sad sigh at the sight of those green eyes going glossy, and quickly chugged her first mug of hot chocolate, really needing a bit of a boost to not rush out and yell at Luna that flings with professors pretty much never last, and that no one with a heart tossed a five year relationship away for that kind of shit. Seriously. Clarke didn't even know Lexa, and knew she deserved way better than getting treated like that. Heartbroken over that.

"She's been calling me, texting me, coming by my home for the past few weeks, trying to get back together with me since I broke up with her. I've avoided Lincoln's parties ever since our break, knowing she was his cousin and he can't exactly keep her away from here. She'd been quiet for the past three days, so I thought it might be nice to get out and see him and Anya again for the first time in a few weeks, but...well, you saw what happened." Lexa continued sadly, clenching her jaw again and staring out the window toward the backyard and the bonfire. "I've been starting to move on, to let go. I planned to focus on myself for a while...and then you came in and ended up convincing Luna that I'm dating again."

Clarke let the puzzle pieces click together in her mind. "She's going to tell Lincoln."

"And Anya. Both of whom have been pushing for me to find someone new to help move on from Luna. And while you seem nice, Clarke, and not that you've legitimately offered, but I don't think I particularly want that right now." Lexa noted with an apologetic smile that really wasn't necessary. Clarke knew the road to hell was paved with good intentions. She totally understood where Lexa was coming from, having gone through a veritable 'Griffindependence' period after Finn for about three or four months.

"I totally get it, you don't have to apologize to me. I've never had a five year relationship, but I've had some serious ones that ended badly, and I went the solo-route then. It helped." Clarke said with a reassuring smile that at the very least had Lexa seeming a little relieved. Enough to drink from her mug again. "And look, Luna saw us all friendly and stuff, right?"

Lexa nodded silently, clearly curious as to where Clarke was leading the conversation.

"So maybe this was a trial date for you tonight, to see if you were ready for that. And you and I gave it a shot, but you're not ready, and at the end of the night, we agree to stick to being friends?" Clarke offered up, hoping her simple but effective solution would help make things right. Lexa's shake of the head had those hopes shattering.

"Anya and Lincoln have been...persistent. They will eventually find us and hound me to...pursue you." Lexa's sad words matched her downcast expression, those big green eyes staring at the table as if it could give her a solution to all of her problems.

Hell, if it would make Lexa smile, Clarke was pretty sure she'd do whatever she could to solve her problems. If that meant using her IOUs to keep some well-meaning friends of Lexa's off her back, so be it. The downcast woman across from her deserved some good fortune, she figured.

"My best friend has been making me drive her out here at least once a week to spend time with Lincoln. It's earned me a spot in his good books, AND I practically own Octavia from all the favors she owes me. With the right word, I'm sure I can get him to back off, and maybe pressure Anya to back off too." Clarke added, nearly allowing herself a smile until she saw how increasingly ashen-faced Lexa was getting as she spoke.

"Clarke...I do not understand how you believe this will help. If you know Lincoln, then we cannot have had a tremendous amount of history together. He will pick up on this, see you as a fresh face for me, and push me toward you. Especially if he trusts or likes you. Ever since Octavia came around, he's been far less of a hopeless romantic, and more of an obnoxious romantic. He will not back off." Lexa stated with a deep sigh, clearly losing hope that this would end well.

Clarke took a moment to think up all that she knew about the situation, trying to figure out a narrative. Jasper, back when he'd dragged her and Octavia into the occasional Dungeons and Dragons session, had told her that to create a believable character, they had to fit the environment and the scenario, so that the group could band together without conflict and move forward together. It had Clarke thinking back to the conversation she'd overheard, a light bulb clicking in her head as her dormant drama instincts kicked in.

"Lexa, you live close by, right?" Clarke asked, drawing a confused nod from the brunette. "Four weeks ago, I went out to catch some fresh air by the front porch, and play on my phone during my second time here. The bonfire was huge that night, and I didn't spend a lot of time out there. Octavia even managed to notice from her spot on Lincoln's lap."

"Clarke if you have a point, I would prefer you get to it before we're ambushed by my two closest friends." Lexa let out quickly, clearly a little frustrated. And alright, maybe Clarke took her time setting the scene.

"My point is that instead of playing games on my phone, maybe you came by here, but you changed your mind when you got to the front porch for some reason. And I'm pretty nosy, and I definitely wanted some company that night, so maybe I called out after you. And maybe we got to talking, and while you didn't say much, maybe it was enough to spend a few hours together enjoying a budding friendship. I'd go back to the party for a minute or two here and there to check on if Octavia needed me before returning with something for us to snack on, or drink." Clarke explained, Lexa catching onto her ploy early on, eyes growing wide with understanding and a glimmer of hope.

"Perhaps we exchanged phone numbers and talked on our phones and Skype. Lincoln and Anya know I've rarely been anywhere outside of my home or work since the breakup, and...well, that would help establish us unquestionably as having been friends for some time." Lexa added with slightly redder cheeks, looking to Clarke seemingly in hopes she could confirm that.

Clarke nodded and allowed herself a smile. "I'm usually in my room when I'm home, and my computer's there. I've been painting far more than I've been on my computer, but Octavia wouldn't be able to tell the difference since I keep my door closed and use headphones. So that works. And while I've spent the past few parties here inside or at the bonfire more than out front, I have spent some pretty big chunks of my nights out there. And maybe you'd meet up with me at a certain time each party, and we'd see if you'd be ready to go in and deal with the masses and your ex, or if we'd stick around out front. That would work with the fake plan I told Luna about."

Lexa nodded furiously, a slow, small smile spreading across her lips. "And with all the pressure Anya and Lincoln have been putting on me to date, maybe I asked you earlier this week if...were I to feel up to being here at the party...you would be my date. You, as my friend who I've slowly become friends with, and who has become aware of my situation to some degree, accepted and laid out the same plan as before, but with hot chocolate."

Clarke leaned back in her chair and shrugged. "Hey, if our first date isn't out at a restaurant or out for coffee, then the least I can do is get you something homemade to make the night special."

Lexa's small smile broke out into a grin, the woman staring down at her mug. "I do buy those single-use packets, you know. I quite like them, but I can concede that your recipe is better, Clarke."

"Well, that's officially one battle to nil for me, Commander. So thank you." Clarke noted with what could probably be described as a shit-eating grin. "And hey, if they ask why they didn't know about me...or if O asks why I didn't tell her about you...we have an out. You didn't want to get their hopes up in advance in case you didn't feel up to it tonight, and I wanted to respect the fact that you asked me out, but told me that might change the day of, knowing you might not be ready."

Lexa downed the rest of her mug, her eyes slowly narrowing at Clarke, a curious glint shining in their green depths. "Clarke, I can't help but ask why you're willing to sacrifice a night for me. And more...this would mean you must remain as a friend of mine."

Clarke allowed that overlooked fact to hit her smack-dab in the face, and took a moment or two to process. Which didn't take long, considering it had been easy talking with Lexa, the brunette had been friendly with her, and there was clearly an appreciation for her hot chocolate. That was enough for a bedrock foundation of friendship, at least in Clarke's eyes.

"Well, with Octavia close to dating Lincoln, I'll be spending more time around here, and it'd be nice to know someone in his friend group so I'm not entirely bored when I roll D.D. at these parties full of strangers. And the company of a Commander could definitely be interesting, so I think I'd be up for that. Would you?" Clarke asked simply, watching the brunette across from her closely.

Lexa thought for a little longer, and perhaps a little harder given the furrowed brows and bitten lip, but the small smile the brunette wore as her expression cleared said enough. "I think I would."

Clarke shifted her chair back and got to her feet, grabbing both empty mugs. "I figure we can do this, then. But in the meantime, would you like some more? I made enough for a few more refills."

Lexa's smile growing ever so slightly wider was, again, answer enough. 

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa venture into the backyard as the night progresses. Lexa's thirst is real, and Clarke gets a little handsy during the Linctavia inquisition

The duo finished off the rest of the hot chocolate before heading into the backyard, settling on the large wooden swing by the garden instead of by the bonfire with the drunken masses. A stereo off in the distance blared Japandroid's 'The House That Heaven Built', evidence enough that Lincoln had let Octavia toss in some of her favourites this time around; which, to Clarke, was evidence enough that they were finally leaning toward being exclusive. Which, in turn, meant this could be Clarke's final night at Lincoln's for a while, spending it pretending to romance a brunette who wanted nothing but to be left alone excepting a few visits from close friends. It almost had Clarke laughing, knowing that despite everything, this fake date wasn't even her worst. Hell, it didn't, and likely wouldn't, break her top ten, at least not unless disaster struck.

It's just that Lexa was kind of really endearing, and oddly good company once she had some warm, chocolatey goodness in her. Despite all the noise from the bonfire, Clarke's ears focused solely on the brunette, who also seemed to filter out everything but Clarke; Lexa continued to complain about how long she'd need to burn off the calories from Clarke's tasty drinks, repeatedly informing the blonde of how important her health was to her, and how she'd most certainly gone over her calorie limit for the day.

For a brief moment on the walk out to the garden, she'd internally questioned why Lexa kept eying her head to toe, though Clarke supposed the brunette was likely just trying to make a point during her rant, given the woman had gestured to her own whole body a few times as well. Clarke knew that she herself was in decent shape, but a ways softer than Lexa seemed to be, after having humoured Lexa in touching her rippling bicep so that the brunette could mourn the impending loss of her physique due to hot chocolate. Which, of course, was all Clarke's fault.

None of Lexa's rambling mattered much to her, only really making Clarke laugh, because fitness had not kept Lexa from having three big mugs of hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows in each. It was only after they'd run out, and Lexa had noticed she couldn't grab a fourth cup, that the brunette had started grumbling about her health. Clearly, Lexa's thirst was real, and it did no good for her to deny it.

As they rested there, warm and content from the hot beverages, Clarke found herself really noticing the backyard for the first time. Outside of the bonfire at the end of the yard, it was really well kept. And honestly, Clarke didn't know anyone in their mid-twenties with a very well groomed garden and a damn rustic looking wooden swing adding to its character. It all seemed a little old-timey to her, and while Lincoln did have a sort of 'settled-down' vibe to him, it also seemed a little out of his reach.

"Did Lincoln put this all together? You know, the garden, the swing, the hedges, and all that?" Clarke asked, thinking some stability would be good for her best friend.

"This was his grandfather's home until three years ago. He went down south to retire, and left the home to Lincoln, who had been looking for a larger place to live at the time. His grandfather built the porch and the swing, and did the initial garden and landscaping, but Lincoln's kept the property up, and tries to contain any damage from his parties to the living room and the fire pit areas." Lexa answered calmly, staring off at the bonfire in the distance. "It was always nice when he came to visit, and it's good that he has a home here now."

The fondness was crystal clear in Lexa's voice as she spoke, the brunette obviously thinking highly of both Lincoln and his grandfather. "How long have you known him?" She asked, liking that Lexa was clearly in a better mood now, and wanting to keep that going. Her question drew more of the woman's attention as well, Lexa turning to face her with an easy smile.

"I was eight when I met him for the first time. He was nine and was riding his bike up and down the street. There weren't a lot of kids my age when I was growing up here, so I was excited. We spent a lot of time by the creek in my back yard... playing in the water and building forts mostly." Lexa elaborated wistfully, earning a teasing smirk from Clarke, one the brunette was confused about for a moment before rolling her eyes.

"I wouldn't expect anything less, Commander. I'm sure you're fantastic at building forts now." Clarke noted playfully, Lexa scoffing at the assertion, even if that smile didn't fade. Honestly, she could imagine a cute little brunette ordering Lincoln around and treating tree forts like they were serious business. Hell, she could imagine cute grown-up Lexa ordering Lincoln around to fortify the defenses of a well-built but aging tree-house.

"Perhaps you'll have to come visit me and see my work with your own eyes, some time... well, considering we're friends now." Lexa stated, breaking through a moment of stunned silence before capping her invitation off with a bit of uncertainty that had Clarke thinking that maybe the woman beside her hadn't been joking, at least not entirely, and had surprised herself with the invitation.

"Maybe I will...when I'm invited officially. Growing up, Octavia's called me 'Princess' ever since my six year old self's obsession with Beauty and the Beast. And apparently princesses are a little too formal to just drop in on anyone, even Commanders." Clarke stated airily, hoping to reassure that the initiative for potential future in-person visits was in Lexa's control, and simultaneously shift topics to something that wouldn't force Lexa to think about her recent seemingly self-imposed isolation. The thought of that kind of lonely, cold existence, combined with the increasingly chilly temperatures, had Clarke hugging herself to keep warmer.

"Fitting..." Lexa mumbled softly as those green eyes flickered across her face, the sound almost escaping Clarke's ears. The single word had Clarke unsure exactly what Lexa meant by that, and she wasn't really provided much time to process all the possibilities once the brunette continued. "Why do you call me Commander?"

Clarke tugged on Lexa's jacket a little in response. "It looks like something someone in the military would have. Well, add that to how composed you were earlier, and...'Commander'. Just kind of fits you." She finished with a small smile, feeling a little relief at the brief nod of understanding from the woman beside her. The last thing Clarke wanted was to explain why the word fit so well past the basics.

Lexa let out a long sarcastic sigh as she leaned forward. "If I must have one, I suppose I could have worse nicknames than that." The brunette deadpanned, before her eyes narrowed suspiciously at Clarke. "Though you seem like you might need my jacket a little more than me with how you're shivering." Lexa added, before slipping the garment off and holding it open for Clarke to wear.

Clarke tried to let the comment roll over her, but it honestly seemed like something a prospective date would have offered her, given the circumstances. And maybe it was fitting, given they were fake dating, but Lexa hadn't even brought it up as a ploy to make them seem more legitimate.

It had Clarke feeling a little hesitant to accept it, but she really was starting to freeze, so she offered a thankful smile and shifted closer to slip into the warm jacket, Lexa's hands smoothing over her shoulders afterwards to fix where it was bunched up. And honestly, Lexa's tiny soft smile had Clarke taking it a bit further and leaning up against her fake-date, not wanting the brunette to be cold either. Lexa predictably tensed up, but only for a few moments.

"Right...we're a couple for tonight. We should be closer, as if we're on a date." Lexa spoke sort of stiffly, as if just realizing it. And maybe she was, given the thinly veiled confusion written on her face.

"Well, I was cold, and I didn't want you to be cold either, but...yeah. That said, according to our story, I'd know you're a little gun-shy still, and I'd be a little patient and test your waters, so...is it okay if I do that here and there with others around? And if you're not cool with anything, just let me know?" Clarke asked, earning a decisive nod from Lexa after some brief hesitation.

"That sounds reasonable, Clarke." Lexa answered warmly with a smile, and a tentative hand slipping behind them and around Clarke's waist to keep her close. It was a small gesture revealing at least some confidence that they could pull this off, and that maybe they could manage to wind up having an alright night regardless. And maybe Clarke was reading too much into it, but she tended to over-think as a rule, anyway.

Deciding she was happy with how things were going with her new friend, Clarke rested her head against Lexa's shoulder and let out a content hum. "Tell me about yourself."

* * *

It was a few conversations later, after covering Lexa 101, Anya, Clarke's upbringing, Clarke and Octavia's friendship, and Lexa's job as the owner and CEO of a local coffee shop chain, that the beer pong tournament seemed to end. At least, Clarke presumed it had, given the sudden mass of people leaving the house all at once and making a beeline for the now over-crowded bonfire.

The night was still young, still about an hour left until midnight, and that meant the drinking was nowhere near finished for most of the partygoers. The beer pong tournament had kicked things off, and Clarke watched with amusement as a few drunk stragglers carried coolers of alcohol toward the fire. It would get louder very, very soon, and while they were on some side street at the edge of the greater D.C. area, they still had some neighbours to worry about. Even if the houses on the street were pretty far apart. Honestly, it was a miracle that the cops hadn't shown up during the last few parties there.

"It seems Anya's misplaced her liquor again." Lexa noted quietly, ever so slightly pulling Clarke closer with one arm while the other pointed to a disgruntled woman off in the distance, tearing open coolers at random. Clarke turned her gaze back to the brunette as a chuckle rippled through her, those green eyes looking into hers with as much mirth as she'd seen all night. "For a bartender, she's absurdly simple in her tastes. I swear, the amount of Fireball she goes through should be illegal."

Clarke just grinned, liking this closeness with Lexa. It was nice to have someone sober to spend the night with at a party for once, and Lexa was just damn good company. "Well, it's cheap, sort of tasty with that whole discount liquor charm mixing with the taste of cinnamon hearts... and the more she buys, the less that rowdy college students can get, so maybe it's a win-win." Clarke rambled, earning a shrug from the smiling brunette, though the smile quickly fell when Lexa's gaze shifted toward the bonfire.

Clarke, confused at the sudden shift in expression, turned her head and saw Octavia and Lincoln walking in their direction. Clarke bit back a groan and, after steeling her nerves, covered Lexa's hand at her waist, as if she'd never wish for her fake date's hand to be anywhere else. And, alright, maybe it felt pretty damn nice where it was, but still.

The newcomers stopped just short of the swing, hands clasped as they briefly looked between Clarke and Lexa. "Lexa...Clarke...think we can stop by and catch a breather from the madness?" Lincoln asked politely, clearly doing better at holding a stoic expression than Clarke's bestie, who was sporting an entirely smug smirk, as if she'd caught Clarke red-handed. And, well, perhaps that was the impression they wanted to give off, being at the party but still off in relative seclusion so far, whether in the kitchen or on the swing out back.

"Lincoln, this is your home. You don't need permission, but...yes, of course it's fine with us." Lexa answered, and while it was entirely political sounding, there was a warmth and familiarity in her tone that led Clarke to believe that maybe that was their dynamic.

Lexa made to shift both herself and Clarke over to make room, having been hogging the swing's middle beforehand, when Lincoln sat on Lexa's side, and Octavia nestled up beside Clarke. Clearly, this was a trap, but they'd prepared, and gotten to know each other well enough, so the blonde wasn't worried. Or, at least, she wasn't _too_ worried.

"Meet someone new tonight, Princess?" Octavia started off as Lincoln talked a little too softly to Lexa for the blonde to make out.

"No, Lexa and I have known each other for a few weeks now." Clarke baited, getting that detail out in the open right away, which seemed to draw Lincoln's attention. Which was good, since she didn't want Lexa to have to confront her friend alone in hushed whispers, and she figured it was best that they control the discussion as much as possible. And Clarke knew Octavia would understand the white lie whenever the truth came out.

"How did you two meet?" He asked casually, only a hint of hope amidst his curiosity. For Lexa's insistence on how determined he'd be to set her up, his restraint seemed to rival the brunette's.

"We met at the party four weeks ago." Lexa answered succinctly, Octavia's thoughtful, spaced out expression had Clarke knowing her best friend was trying to concoct a follow up.

So with a slight nudge of her knee against Octavia, Clarke clarified. "It was the 23rd of last month. I had the gallery showing on the 22nd, remember?"

Octavia's eyes lit up at that, her smile growing. "The second party here...wait, that was the one you kept disappearing all night long." Octavia's tone was saturated in playful accusation, her eyebrows waggling with unnecessary enthusiasm. A quick glance at Lincoln saw him looking questioningly at Lexa.

"I'd considered coming to the party...like you and Anya had asked me to...but..." Lexa offered almost shakily alongside a shrug, clearly not entirely comfortable under the scrutiny, perhaps due to the addition of a relative stranger in Octavia.

Clarke carefully used her free hand to smooth Lexa's hair, tucking one of the large chestnut curls behind her ear, hoping it'd help soothe the brunette's nerves. To her delight, Lexa's eyes shut momentarily at the action, the brunette's head just barely leaning against Clarke's hand, but it was enough to let her know it was appreciated and welcome.

"I think we both wanted some company, but weren't up for getting lost in such a big party. I'd pop back in to check on you, O, but it was to grab drinks or snacks for Lexa, too. Only from the party-assigned stuff, though, Lincoln. I promise." Clarke amended quickly at the end as she allowed herself one last comb through Lexa's hair, not wanting to disrespect his hospitality with their story's innocent details.

Thankfully, he just looked kind of happy about it all. "You could have taken my Cherry Garcia ice cream, and I wouldn't have minded so long as you were sharing it with Lexa." He noted, smiling wider after Lexa's scoff, seemingly annoyed at his blatant meddling finally coming out to play.

"Okay, on a side note, Linc, you're totally going to explain to me after this why Clarke can hypothetically devour your ice cream, and yet I can't even have a tiny taste. But back on topic...you've both been cozy over here for a while. You catching up? Is this the first time you've both hung out since then, or..." Octavia was her usual blunt self, but Clarke was thankful for that, knowing the easy, simple questions were the best to waste time on, knowing the lovebirds wouldn't stick around all night. And it'd do well, by the saucy grin on Octavia's face, to shut down the idea that she and Lexa may have had secret trysts between then and tonight.

Clarke decided to jump in before Lexa, an idea popping into her mind. "No, we Skype pretty regularly, and we've talked during every party since, even if just for a little while out on the front porch." Clarke noted before looking up at Lexa, hoping her expression relayed that she was asking permission to take a bit of control of Lexa's narrative and improvise. Lexa's expression hardened for a moment, and her body went tense, before the brunette nodded with a quiet sigh.

"What?" Octavia pressed, and though Lincoln had remained silent, it was clear that he was a little taken aback and confused at even that revelation.

"I'd drive you here early, O, so you guys could be together for a while before the party. You'd run off and be cute together, and I'd help set things up while texting Lexa, and we'd talk about what kind of company she was up for. She'd eventually come by and we'd talk, catch up. I'd offer her a drink from inside, some snacks I brought in my bag...and we'd talk some more before she'd head back." Clarke stated softly, curling up a little closer to Lexa, smiling a little bit when the tense woman's body relaxed a bit and held her closer.

"I didn't want to disappoint you, Lincoln. I know how much you and Anya have wanted me to branch out lately, how much you wanted me to attend. After everything...I just needed time." Lexa stated calmly, almost flat to mask the emotions that were assuredly bubbling underneath. Clarke knew that despite Lexa's smiles and laughter that night, that the brunette was still hurting after Luna, earlier.

"And tonight? This?" Lincoln asked, some clarity seeming to form in his eyes as he looked over the both of them with new understanding.

"Clarke and I have been growing our friendship for weeks, and...sometimes it's good to have someone willing to listen who doesn't know everything about me. And when I asked her to be my date tonight, it was with the understanding that it might take place elsewhere." Lexa finished with a sad ghost of a smile toward Lincoln. "Again, I didn't want to let you and Anya know, then disappoint you if I cancelled."

"I knew that it could be up in the air, but I figured my homemade hot chocolate would be enough to reel her in enough to take that final step. She really did want to see you and Anya, Lincoln." Clarke added, resting her head back on Lexa's shoulder as she looked to Octavia's inquisitive gaze to answer the raven-haired woman's unspoken question. "We're not sure what this is, if anything, but...we're just trying to have a good time and see where we stand at the end of the night."

Lincoln's sigh at that had Clarke's focus ping-ponging back to her best friend's boyfriend. "Luna freaking out probably didn't help get your night off to a good start." He noted apologetically, looking sincerely remorseful for allowing Lexa to have walked into that situation. Clearly he'd gotten an earful from Luna, and getting the other side of the story from them had made things clearer.

"No. She caught me by the door when I arrived earlier than planned." Lexa responded quickly, that arm around Clarke's waist gripping a little tighter, leading Clarke to use her free hand to rub up and down the brunette's back, hoping to calm her, but it wasn't having as much effect at lifting Lexa's spirits as she'd hoped.

Clarke saw the depressing direction the conversation was heading, and didn't want Lexa to get upset again, so she decided to try to cheer things up with a little lighthearted teasing. "What happened to 'arriving fifteen minutes before expected isn't being early, Clarke, it's being on time'?" Clarke asked, doing her best impersonation of Lexa, said woman's eyes narrowing in what Clarke hoped was mock annoyance.

"Semantics." Lexa noted dismissively, rolling her eyes at Clarke's widening grin. "If you must count it as a second victory, then I suppose..."

"Yes! That's a two nothing lead for me tonight, Commander." Clarke cheered, thinking that if she weren't so comfy, she would have fist-pumped at the very least, but alas, her hands were occupied stealing warmth from Lexa and ensuring the brunette kept holding her close.

Octavia's hand poking at Clarke's side had the blonde turning her head to face her clearly curious assailant. "Lexa's in the military? Seriously, Lexa? Anya didn't mention that at all." Octavia asked, shifting focus from Clarke to Lexa as her enthusiasm bloomed. Before Octavia's father worked in the private sector, he'd been an aeronautical engineer for the Air Force, and O loved hearing her father's stories about those days. Since then, Clarke's best friend had more than once considered enlisting, and had gained a few friends among those who had served; Anya, Lincoln's older foster sister, had been the reason O and Lincoln had met in the first place, apparently.

Of course, Lexa most definitely was NOT in the military, though it did have Clarke wondering what the woman would look like in full dress uniform. Definitely an appealing thought.

"Sorry to spoil your enthusiasm, but no...Clarke made the decision that my jacket had a 'military' vibe to it, and started calling me 'Commander' because of it." Lexa explained, earning a slightly disappointed sigh from Octavia, who jabbed Clarke in the shoulder for her apparent transgressions. "Personally, I think it was to give her an excuse to get competitive with me over things, like hot chocolate, for instance. Not exactly anything to go to war over."

"Okay, I'm not even that competitive, but there's no way I was going to let it slide when you said my home-made hot chocolate wouldn't be as good as your single use packs from the grocery store." Clarke stated firmly, if teasingly, taking some joy in Lexa's exasperated sigh.

"Oooh, not so slick, Lexa. If there's two things Clarke takes pride in, other than being my best friend, it's her art and her hot chocolate recipe. It's, like, the only thing she can do well in the kitchen." Octavia chimed in, bringing Lexa to rub her face in frustration.

"In the interest of clarity, I didn't say the single use packs would be better. Clarke brought up possibly making hers at the party tonight, and I made mention that I had a few packets around if she wanted to save herself the time and energy." Lexa clarified, though her answer just had Octavia shaking her head.

"And I recognized that for the challenge it was." Clarke added airily, earning a scoff from the woman she was nestled up against. A reaction that Clarke took as another challenge, shifting her focus back to Lexa with her best attempt at an adoring smile to disarm the brunette's annoyance at her.

Not that it was difficult; the memory of Lexa's reaction to her brew, alongside the brunette halfway inviting her over at a later date to show Clarke her fort by the creek, was certainly enough to render the Commander quite endearing, by Clarke's measure.

And once Lexa's expression softened from her exasperation, even if the brunette averted her eyes shyly, Clarke rewarded her with the ghost of a kiss on the cheek. "And no harm, no foul...you admitted that mine was better. And maybe I could make a little more to warm us up later on...if that's alright with you, Lincoln?" She asked, sparing an extra moment or two at Lexa's darkening cheeks, feeling both curious and content at the reaction her gesture evoked. Especially given Lexa's head dipped slightly, and teeth gently gnawed on that plump lower lip, instead of the brunette objecting to the most feather-light of kisses.

Clarke shifted her gaze to Octavia's boyfriend, and suddenly realized he'd been quiet for a while, though he seemed more than happy to watch her and Lexa banter, judging by his soft smile and amused eyes.

"If you can find what you need in my kitchen, then by all means. And maybe if you do make more later, you could save some for us?" Lincoln asked, earning a happy hum and a nod from Clarke, who was all too happy to show off her sole respectable food-related talent. "Great! Anyway, speaking of keeping warm, we were heading in to grab something warmer to wear before we stopped by, and we should probably get to that before we freeze."

Octavia took the easy hint and wrapped Clarke up in a quick hug. "Yeah, we can't all be warm and toasty in the Commander's jacket." Octavia teased, and Clarke thought she could practically feel the renewed exasperation roll off of Lexa at her new nickname spreading around. "You two stay out of trouble...don't do anything I wouldn't, Clarke."

Clarke watched Lincoln give a light pat to Lexa's shoulder, and whisper something incredibly quietly, before he and Octavia got up and waved the duo farewell, moving onward toward the house.

A few long seconds passed before either one of them felt up to speaking, Clarke just embracing the fact that they'd made it through the Linctavia inquisition unscathed, and generally without pressure or humiliation.

"That went...better than expected, surprisingly. I thought Lincoln would have pushed harder for a double date instead of settling for a potential meet-up later tonight at the tail end of the party." Lexa noted as she shook the baffled expression from her face, a relieved smile taking its place. "Perhaps this plan of ours might just work."

Clarke smiled at her new friend, and moved her hand from Lexa's back to take one of her hands, just wanting the brunette to know that she was in this with her, that they'd get it right and ensure Lexa would be free of pressure from Lincoln and Anya after tonight.

However, the fact that Lexa's hands felt closer to ice cubes than anything human had Clarke recoiling momentarily, before clasping that hand harder and bringing it up to her mouth to breathe warm air onto. "God, Lexa, your hands are frozen!"

Clarke turned her focus away from the offending hand back to Lexa, who was staring in apparent disbelief at their joined hands. And okay, maybe a single breath wasn't going to do anything to help warm Lexa up, but as seconds passed Clarke couldn't help but think Lexa had spaced out instead of finding her action befuddling.

"Uh, Lexa? Hello?" Clarke asked, waving a hand in front of the brunette's face until Lexa snapped out of her zone. "Hey, so you're actually freezing cold. Why didn't you say anything?"

Lexa blinked away whatever shock she'd experienced and met Clarke's gaze. At least, for a few moments, before flickering her gaze back and forth between Clarke and their joined hands. "You seemed to appreciate my coat's warmth, and I'm warm enough with you sitting beside me, with the exception of my hands and feet."

Clarke shook her head, not at all satisfied with that answer. "Look, it's really pretty out here, and I love the fresh air, but it's cold. You're freezing, and I'm barely fending it off, so why don't we head inside and grab a couch? The living room must be mostly cleared out by now, and it's not like Lincoln and Anya need you to stay outside all night. In fact, I kind of think they've been running interference to keep us alone, so being inside wouldn't make a difference." Clarke asserted, drawing a hesitant nod from Lexa once she gave the brunette's icy hand a squeeze.

"Very well. While Lincoln is notorious for refusing to turn on his heater until Thanksgiving passes, it should be warmer in there, especially with the aid of blankets." Lexa stated, pushing herself off the swing and onto her feet, hand still entangled in Clarke's. The blonde let her newest friend gently pull her off the wooden swing and lead her down the trail toward the house.

And maybe she was weak enough to let her eyes drop to Lexa's magnificent butt for a moment or three, but with Lexa still holding her hand, and with the mention of couches and blankets, Clarke's brain filled in some blanks. Besides, she was smart; Clarke knew Lexa wasn't interested, so there wasn't much harm in using a bit of imagination, was there? Clarke didn't think so. Especially something so tame as cuddling up on the couch under a blanket with a gorgeous woman, and with a bit of body exploration on the side under the facade of keeping warm. But then, in retrospect, she supposed she HAD been a little handsy with Lexa out there on the swing, so maybe reeling back on that, even in a fantasy, might be a little more appropriate.

Checking her watch, Clarke saw it was a half hour to midnight. For once, time was passing slowly for her, and Clarke wanted it to stay that way, with how good the night had been so far. Knowing she'd likely have around two more hours with Lexa, Clarke crossed into Lincoln's house with a smile on her face, hoping the second half of the night could be as good as the first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, because I forgot to mention it in the first chapter, the fic's title is drawn from Tinashe's song 'Bated Breath', because it felt sort of fitting to this fic in some ways.  
> Anywho, thanks so much for reading, and all your support!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa head inside for some warmth, encounter a vengeful Anya, and get serenaded by music of suspect quality

Clarke spent a brief few minutes cleaning up the living room, calling a cab for a particularly blitzed woman, and helping said woman out to the front porch for the brief wait. All in all, the situation indoors was much better than expected, just a lot of empty red cups and a bit of spilled liquor on a fold-out table that Clarke had cleaned and packed away beside a bookshelf.

By the time the cab arrived and the woman was off to her home, Lexa had finished grabbing blankets, and had apparently run into Anya en route, if Clarke's vague memories of the woman's appearance were correct as she approached the two women seated on the largest couch.

"And I'm telling you, that's assault, okay? You can't do that...don't do that." Lexa spoke hastily, eyes worried and intense. Anya, in contrast, looked as if she was bored, and didn't have a care in the world.

"You're more family to me than she ever was. If she fucks up with you again, I'll giv'er fair warning and a half-minute head start before I run her down an'..." Anya started, slurring a little and looking happier the more in detail she was getting over seemingly chasing someone down. Lexa's hand shooting out to cover the older woman's mouth stilled the words in Anya's throat and drew an annoyed huff.

"I know. Just..." Lexa started, before noticing Clarke was standing at the entrance to the living room. Almost immediately, the tension left the brunette, hand moving from Anya's mouth back to her lap, and gesturing for her to enter. "Can we just be normal tonight, Anya? No threats of violence on my behalf?"

"Ugh, you're boring." Anya complained as she tossed a throw pillow at Lexa's face, though the somewhat intimidating woman's annoyed scowl shifted into a predatory smile as Clarke drew closer. "But it seems like you found someone to be boring with." The woman added, turning her focus to Clarke.

Now, Clarke wasn't exactly a carpe diem sort of thrill-seeker, but she also didn't think of herself as boring. "I can be fun, I can..." Clarke started, fighting an annoyed scowl when Anya merely cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at her. "...but I'm good with some quieter company when it's important. And if I hadn't rolled D.D. duty tonight, I might have asked to mooch some of your Fireball...if you managed to find it, that is."

That drew a boisterous laugh from Anya, who nodded with approval gleaming in her eyes. "It's got a nice kick. What's not to like? Sure, I would have let you have some once I remembered Lincoln's house is a goddamn ice box, and that I kept it all in the laundry room to chill. It's freezing in here, I can't blame you for bundling up like it's fucking Siberia, Lexa."

"Yes, well, Clarke insisted that we'd be warmer in here, which is probably true, with the wind picking up outside." Lexa added, patting the small spot beside her, which Clarke happily took, tucking her legs beneath herself.

"Smart girl. I'm just happy she kicked your ass and got you to come over here, finally." Anya huffed, though clearly good-naturedly by the small smirk on the woman's lips.

"That was Lexa being strong and determined enough to see you and Lincoln, I can't take credit for that. For keeping her warm and smiling, sure, but she's a strong person, don't sell her short." Clarke argued politely, with a smile and a bit of warmth in her voice in hopes of not antagonizing the veteran-turned-barkeep in her defense. Besides, it was true; Lexa had arrived on her own, and Clarke didn't want to diminish that fact.

Anya exhaled through her nose as a smile crept across her face. Clarke watched the woman down the last of her drink and turn to Lexa. "That's true enough. Sorry if I've been hard on you, Lexa, it's just good to see you again after all the shit that went down. And I get it...and I appreciate you bein' here. I'll get out of your hair before we annoy the hell out of each other, but maybe we can grab lunch sometime soon?" Anya asked, earning a quick nod from Lexa.

"I'd enjoy that. I've missed you." Lexa spoke, her voice low and warm, those words compelling Anya to pull the brunette into a tight hug.

"Love you too, Lexa." Anya returned, almost sounding sober before turning towards Lexa's ear, as if to whisper, though her voice was a little too loud for that. "And her? I approve. Jus' saying."

With that, Anya clambered up to her feet and unsteadily made her way to the guest room nearby, leaving Lexa and Clarke alone in the living room. Clarke was fairly sure they'd get the occasional straggler coming inside here and there, but most had set up by the bonfire, which was likely much warmer than Lincoln's chilly home.

Besides, Clarke had a sneaking suspicion that Anya had taken up camp in the house to scare drunkards away from Lexa and Clarke's 'date', much like Lincoln might have kept curious minds from venturing away from the bonfire earlier. Usually, Clarke would have dealt with at least a dozen random drunks by that point in the night during Lincoln's parties, yet they hadn't run into any aside from the plastered girl who she'd sent home in a taxi. It was all a bit too convenient.

"It's good that you defended me to Anya. I took no offense to her, but she's very protective of me, and you won her respect for that. That should go a long way." Lexa stated quietly, hands kneading the folded up blanket on her lap.

"I defended you because it's true, you came here on your own, I had nothing to do with it. Narrative or not, I wasn't going to take credit for that. I was playing the part a bit, sure, but nothing I said was a lie. You're strong, especially for sticking it out tonight after how it started." Clarke shot back as she took hold of the blanket in one hand, and used the other to smooth out the tension in Lexa's, whose grip only took a moment or two to slacken so that Clarke could use the garment to cover them both.

"Well, I still appreciate it, Clarke. I doubted you could keep Lincoln and Anya at bay, and yet you've managed to wrap them both around your finger." Lexa noted with amusement, and more than a little relief.

It had Clarke feeling pretty good, to be honest. It had sucked to hear she'd made things worse in intruding on Lexa and Luna, so to hear she'd potentially made up for that had Clarke grinning.

"Guess you shouldn't doubt my prowess again, Commander." Clarke quipped playfully as she curled up against Lexa, happy to absorb the brunette's warmth again since she'd hung up the jacket in the foyer earlier.

Lexa just stared at her, eyes wide as saucers, and the better lighting conditions only made the brunette's pink-tinged cheeks that much clearer. Honestly, it was a good look on her, and maybe Clarke set a goal right then and there to make Lexa blush a few more times that night.

Eventually, Lexa managed to blink and swallow back her momentary surprise, offering a belated nod. "I'll do my best to respect your..." Lexa started to say, before the loud sound of a guitar reverberated through the home, quickly followed by some less than spectacular vocals that had Lexa sighing loudly and annoyance writing itself across the woman's soft features. "I'm going to kill Anya."

Clarke was about to ask why when the drunken sounds of Anya's voice rang out, the woman clearly singing along, albeit loudly and off-key, to the brief chorus. Honestly, Clarke couldn't help but find it a little funny, being serenaded by a drunk bartender with some cheesy eighties rock, so maybe she laughed a little bit.

"It's not funny Clarke. She played this to taunt me. For what reason, I'm not sure...she's drunk, so I doubt there is one, aside from her finding amusement in annoying me." Lexa stated petulantly, her lower lip jutting out the tiniest bit to give the brunette the most appealing pout Clarke had ever bore witness to. It didn't seem fair sometimes how unaware Lexa seemed about her own beauty. Seriously, those lips especially were practically weapons of mass seduction.

"And why would this ridiculous song annoy you?" Clarke asked, taking hold of Lexa's hand atop the blanket in hopes of turning her mood back around. Thankfully, Lexa let out a sigh that seemed to expel a good part of her frustration as well.

"Since I was young, Anya and I have watched the occasional football game together. A few games a year, usually, unless she was on a tour somewhere. This past year, her team faced mine in the playoffs, and she managed to get us both tickets." Lexa stated, voice strained and hard, as if she were reliving a bad memory. Knowing how big of a fan her father was of some sports teams, Clarke knew that sometimes a game wasn't just a game. "Anya's team was up late in the game due to luck and treachery, and it was snowing, which made it all more miserable than usual. But during a break between plays, whoever had control of the music in the stadium blared that song. It caught on, and I had to listen to Anya and some others sing along, and then again shortly afterwards during the next break in play when the damned song was blared again, this time with practically the whole stadium singing along. In the end, her team won, and she still tries to find ways to slip that song into my life again to annoy me."

Clarke listened to the pseudo-story with a grin on her face, because while it was short on details and heavy on annoyance, one thing was made clear: Lexa was a sore loser. Sure, maybe Anya was a sore winner, but Lexa seemed almost adorably easy to rile up, if a song and some chanting was all it took to practically scar her for life.

"It's what we do to the people we love. I never pass up a quality chance at embarrassing or annoying Octavia or her idiot brother." Clarke noted with a shrug, drawing a frustrated huff from Lexa. "It's not fun when you're on the receiving end, though, I'll admit... but it's nice that you two go to games together."

"I...suppose so. She's usually far less obnoxious when her Patriots aren't up against my Ravens. And she's fantastic company whenever either of our teams play the Steelers. Do you watch any football, Clarke?" Lexa asked, appearing to be in a slightly better mood now that the song was winding down, and Anya had stopped singing along.

Clarke shook her head, never having gotten into the sport. "No, my dad was a big soccer fan, and eventually got me into hockey when we still lived down in Houston. I've been cheering for the Stars since, but I've grown a soft spot for the Capitals since I moved up here."

Lexa's eyes lit up at that. "Both Lincoln and Anya are aggressively indifferent toward hockey, it's always a struggle to get them to come to games with me." Lexa stated with a level of calm that hardly hid her underlying excitement. "If you'd like, I could reserve my second seat in my season tickets package for you. I'm almost positive I have tickets for a game against Dallas in March, as well."

"That sounds like fun! I'll definitely comp you for the ticket...or at least pay for our concessions and parking..." Clarke noted happily, negotiating with the brunette because she so rarely ever got to see games live. That was special enough in itself, especially spending it with a friend, so she wasn't about to let Lexa pay for everything.

Clarke had a fresh offer bubbling up inside of her when the song ended and faded into a very familiar and equally cheesy song that chased away her argument for the moment. "Oh my god, what's she doing blasting Foreigner?" She asked with a laugh as the vocals kicked in for 'I Want to Know What Love Is'.

Lexa's reaction seemed the exact opposite, face turning ashen before the brunette shook her head tiredly. "Perhaps I wasn't serious before, but I truly am sincere in saying that I WILL kill Anya."

Despite there clearly being more to this than Lexa was letting on, Clarke couldn't help but laugh again, because it was such a serious reaction. Her Commander was looking all stern and ready to go to battle over a damn love ballad, and it was just a little too funny. Lexa's quickly reddening face clued Clarke into the missing piece of the puzzle, which only had her clutching at Lexa and burying her laughter in the woman's shoulder.

"Oh my god, she's...she's trying to...to _set the mood_ , isn't she?" She asked between giggles, lifting her head away from Lexa and wiping her eyes once she'd calmed down enough.

Lexa nodded, though the slight curl of her lips had Clarke thinking that as frustrated as the brunette was, she was at least a little amused. "Anya has something of a fixation on cheesy music from that era, and likely believes this would kindle something more between us."

Clarke shook her head at that, finding it all a little ridiculous. "Okay, not that there's not some great stuff from the eighties, but we're not in some brat pack movie, and we don't need freaking Foreigner to serenade us. I mean, what next, Richard Marx?" She asked, getting immediately shushed by a wide-eyed Lexa.

"We don't say his name out loud in this house." Lexa whispered, lips slowly blooming into a playful smile. "I'm quite serious, though. The last thing we need is for Anya to hear his name and put on her playlist of his 'hits'."

Clarke rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness and let out a sigh. "Seriously, though...she saw we were all cozy here on the couch...why press and provide a soundtrack?"

"For the same reason Lincoln wants to meet up later for hot chocolate. They worry, and aren't the least bit subtle in their efforts to help my love life. To Lincoln, that's giving us largely uninterrupted time alone together, and to Anya, it's playing the music that might inspire us to become more intimate." Lexa explained, as the track shifted to a campier song that had Clarke giggling again.

"If she thinks Rod fucking Stewart's going to get me all hot and bothered...I'm sorry. I have enough memories of my mom and dad giving each other heart-eyed to his music for it to have the same reaction with me." Clarke insisted with a shudder, memories of catching her parents making out to this exact song back in eighth grade flashing briefly in her mind. And maybe that revulsion had Clarke instinctively pulling away before she realized what was happening.

Thankfully, Lexa saved her from losing any of the precious warmth they'd built by reeling her back in, albeit slowly. "You know, your criticisms of Anya's taste in music have me wondering what you DO enjoy, Clarke. You seem to be at least a little aware of some older music...perhaps The Beatles? And Bruce Springsteen, with how you seemed to enjoy that arena rock playing out at the bonfire earlier?"

Clarke relaxed against Lexa, huffing at the partially accurate guesswork, and at the always tricky way of explaining her tastes. "I've always preferred The Beach Boys to The Beatles, but they have some songs I really like here and there. And I do love The Boss, with the exception of his embarrassing stuff from the late eighties and the nineties." Clarke answered, bringing a satisfied smile to Lexa's face. "Not to sound cliché, but I kind of like all types of music, so long as it speaks to me. I'm an artist, and I like when a song or album has a soul, is heartfelt, and interesting to listen to. Which ends up with me cherrypicking a lot of songs and albums from all over when things catch my ear. How about you?"

"I have a soft spot for punk and folk music. That down to earth rawness is something I tend to need for music to remain memorable for me. I'm happy to listen to other music, though, so long as it doesn't sound like it's been wildly polished and over-sanitized to where there's no humanity left." Lexa stated with a content hum, one of her hands leaving the confines of the blanket to play with Clarke's hair absentmindedly. Clarke found the gesture a little intriguing, since there was no one around to convince, but it felt pretty damn nice, so she angled herself to lean more on Lexa, so it'd be more comfortable for the brunette.

"You own a coffee shop, you like folk music and counter-culture...why Lexa, are you by chance a hipster?" Clarke asked with a cheeky smile, one that only grew as Lexa's eyes narrowed at her and those cheeks went red again. "I'm kidding, but the look on your face was priceless. Seriously, though, you were a kid once. I'm having a hard time imagining eight year old you rocking out to Black Flag or relaxing to Bob Dylan."

Lexa held her mock glare for a few moments before offering Clarke a tiny smile. "No, I suppose I was ordinary as a child, at least in my tastes. Over time, they've changed to what they are now, but once upon a time, I would spend hours listening to whatever pop music would come onto the radio, or steal a listen to Lincoln's Alanis Morissette CD."

"She's always a good choice...jeez, even child Lexa was savvy. You're lucky, none of that can be held against you as outright embarrassing." Clarke added, Lexa's eyebrows rising inquisitively at her words, that tiny smile from before spreading into an amused smirk. "My younger self had issues figuring out what was sincere and what was over-acting. For a few months, I totally thought there was nothing more romantic than someone singing to their loved one like Toni Braxton sang to hers in her music videos. 'Unbreak My Heart' destroyed me each and every time."

The sheer volume of Lexa's laugh startled Clarke a little, what with the woman's usual calm temperament shattering into unrestrained amusement. Clarke's shock was enough for the hand in her hair to offer a brief massage while the brunette threw her head back and filled the room with laughter. Hell, the sheer giddiness of it all eventually had Clarke admitting that while she'd meant for Lexa to be amused, maybe it _was_ worth laughing at a little, the blonde letting out a few giggles at memories of her past ridiculousness.

"You're such a goober, Clarke." The brunette's voice was a little strained from laughter and lack of breath as she spoke, but the warm, teasing remark had Clarke blushing all the same. After all, Lexa could have teased her worse over it, but instead basically called her a cute goofball. And with one of Lexa's hands in her hair, and the other gently holding her close, maybe Clarke was just happy to let herself be surprised for the time being, keeping the ball in Lexa's court.

Clarke was about to say something profoundly witty, at least once she'd fully parsed through her thoughts, when Rod Stewart's voice finally faded into the very familiar intro to 'Genie in a Bottle', forcing her to shift gears.

"Maybe I am, but if you could have seen Octavia when she was young...oh my god, she was obsessed with this song." Clarke noted wistfully, smiling as she remembered all of her best friend's absurd antics around a certain pop singer.

Lexa let out another laugh; briefer this time, but still that same joyful, soul-soothing tone. "Octavia...the same woman who has apparently been successful in getting Lincoln to listen to very loud and aggressive rock music for the first time in his life? The same woman who brought Lincoln to a concert last week and left him practically unable to hear for nearly a whole day afterward? She was a princess as well?"

Lexa turning around Clarke's old nickname onto Octavia had laughter bubbling out of her this time around. "She'd definitely try to kill you if she ever heard you say that about her." Clarke noted with amusement, picturing how red-faced and flustered Octavia would be at having her 'badassitude' questioned.

"Try? You don't think she would succeed?" Lexa asked with a growing smile, though her eyes clearly questioned Clarke's choice of words.

"I rubbed your back earlier, and I've felt your arms. You're a one woman gun-show, Commander. Besides, O's mostly bark, and only nibbles a little. I think you could take her." Clarke rambled slightly, allowing one of her hands to trail down Lexa's nearest biceps if only to re-confirm what she already knew. Lexa may not be tall, broad, or jacked, but the woman was ridiculously toned. "Anyway, Octavia was obsessed with everything Christina Aguilera."

Clarke felt the hand running through her hair take a slight detour, the base of Lexa's palm gently skimming across the blonde's cheek as fingers combed her hair behind her ear. "Obsessed?" Lexa let out, voice calm and smooth, barely louder than a whisper.

"She dyed her hair, copied her fashion sense, watched and listened to everything she sang. Though, O was terrible at understanding innuendo back then, and thought she was actually singing about genies and not virginity. But Octavia was a super fan, to the point where to this day, I have, like, half of the woman's songs burned into my memory if just by hearing them all so many times in the background while we hung out." Clarke explained at length with a smile as she recalled how intense her best friend had been. Lexa's hand stilled in her hair, while a curious glint immediately took over those enchanting forest green eyes.

Clarke waited a few seconds for a response, Lexa's mouth opening and shutting before the woman went completely still. The hesitation had Clarke curious herself, so she let that hand on Lexa's bicep give a little squeeze before rubbing it gently over the woman's top.

That had Lexa swallowing hard and fixing Clarke with a determined stare, as if challenging her, which her words soon proved true. "Prove it." Lexa stated quickly, her words slowing and calmer after Clarke's questioning hum in response. "You say you know the lyrics. Prove it."

Clarke sighed, but with the first verse and chorus over, it technically was an alright time to jump in. She usually wasn't one to back down on dares, either, and Lexa was eying her intently. Clarke wasn't sure why Lexa was pushing this, but she didn't really mind; the blonde wasn't exactly one to get overly shy, and singing was fun.

Still, she didn't particularly want to make anyone nearby aware of it, not wanting to disrupt her one-on-one time with Lexa. So with that in mind, Clarke adjusted on the couch until she was angled a bit more toward the brunette, leaning forward against Lexa's side, looking into her audience's eyes as she sang the lyrics. And maybe she slung her arms loosely around Lexa's neck, but it was definitely just for stability, so her raspy, smooth voice wouldn't be disrupted while singing the second verse and chorus. Not because their faces were now just a few inches apart, or anything like that.

As Clarke sang low and soft, each lyric coming out with the confidence of a woman who had heard the song hundreds of times, she watched Lexa's cheeks turn flushed. Deep green eyes darted across her face with a growing intensity that would have been uncomfortable were the brunette almost anyone else.

At that point in the night, after Lexa's request, Clarke was almost willing to reconsider her gameplan, but she reminded herself that Lexa wanted to go solo for a while. It was nice that Lexa had been looking at her and touching her in ways that honestly felt spectacular, but Clarke couldn't be sure much of it wasn't just an act, or perhaps a bit of curiosity at play. Just because Lexa's teeth nipped a little at that lower lip as Clarke sang about being rubbed the right way, didn't mean that there was anything real behind it. Right?

When Clarke finished the chorus, the hand that had been combing through the blonde's hair, which she just then realized had been cupping the back of her head during her performance, slipped around to press a gentle finger to Clarke's lips as Lexa shifted an inch or so away with a sigh that appeared to be half in relief and half amused.

Clarke accepted the gesture and gladly stopped reciting the words to the song as Lexa seemed to take a bit of a breather, her gaze having averted towards some plants near the window. "Octavia must have been deaf not to understand the innuendo. That, or supremely sheltered." The brunette voiced, sounding a bit short of breath.

"Her parents weren't home often back then, so her brother tended to control the music. There wasn't much room for innuendo and nuance in his favourite speed metal bands, and she was kind of aggressively sheltered by him as well, so...yeah. She did a lot of growing up around the end of high school once Bellamy left for college." Clarke explained, drawing a nod from Lexa.

"Still hard to imagine someone taking that song innocently. Anyway, I suppose you won your dare, Clarke. Another battle conceded to you." Lexa added, her face slipping back into that calm, neutral expression despite the lingering pink tint to her cheeks.

Clarke lowered her arms from Lexa's neck and slipped one around Lexa's waist, the other pulling the half-fallen blanket back up to cover their bodies after the impromptu performance. The blonde watched Lexa closely, taking the woman's thankful smile as a sign to close that tiniest of distance between them and curl up at her side again. "Seems you're just conceding battles left, right, and center, Commander." Clarke mused, tucking the blanket behind Lexa's far shoulder before allowing herself to gently rest that hand along the woman's collarbone.

At this point, Clarke knew she was maybe pushing it a little, but unlike previous gestures where Lexa had gone stiff and tense, the brunette just blinked slowly and swallowed back whatever words may have been on her mind, those green eyes not leaving Clarke's for even a moment. "Have you thought about submission, or are you just playing the long game?" Clarke added curiously, enjoying the tiny furrowing of Lexa's brow at her words.

"I believe the word you were looking for was _surrender_ , Clarke." Lexa noted slowly, gaze ever thoughtful as Clarke gently patted at Lexa's collarbone in turn, as the song faded into a new one with a fuzzy synthesized intro that she wasn't sure was from the eighties or more recently. Either way, the slower dance number was a welcome change from the nostalgic cheese of Christina Aguilera.

"If you say so, Lexa." Clarke shot back with a cheeky grin, lowering her hand from Lexa's collarbone to rest atop the crevice where both of their thighs met. "Anyway, now that I've kind of embarrassed myself, I hope you don't hold my singing against me." She added, not feeling the least bit embarrassed, but hoping instead to draw some kind of response from the brunette that would help Clarke understand what was going on. Lexa, earlier in the night, had said she wanted nothing to do with dating, that she wanted to be single for a while. Clarke respected that, she understood why Lexa might want that, and knew the benefits.

That said, Lexa had been giving off some curious signals that Clarke had initially written off as innocent and accidental, but the longer she was around the brunette, the more she thought that Lexa was more than happy to indulge in Clarke's affections. So she figured a dismissive response would ensure her that Lexa really did want to be single, and Clarke had misread her. And if something more playful and positive came from the brunette? Well, maybe Clarke would let herself wonder if, much like the lyrics to the sensual tune that was serenading them, Lexa was falling under her spell as much as she'd started to fall under Lexa's.

"Clarke, I think we're both aware that your voice is nowhere near embarrassing. It's actually wonderful, but with you being a princess, I should have expected that." Lexa spoke quietly, a tiny, endearing smile curling at her lips.

Even with Lexa bringing up that regrettable nickname of Clarke's, the blonde couldn't help but grin at the compliment, as well as what seemed like an attempt at flirting by the other woman. And maybe she let her hand venture onto the other woman's thigh to massage it, much like Lexa's words did Clarke's ego. The compliment had made Clarke's cheeks flush a little, but the fact that it was yet another instance showcasing the warmth of Lexa's words that had her heart feeling like it'd just been wrapped in a cozy blanket. Spellbound, indeed.

"Who'd have thought a commander could be so sweet?" Clarke asked with a sly smile, well aware she was still blushing as she pulled Lexa a little closer by the waist. "What would your loyal warriors think?" She added, resting her head against Lexa's shoulder and letting herself nuzzle the smooth expanse of skin there, thanking whatever gods existed that she'd sat down on the side of Lexa that the off-the-shoulder sweater left bare.

Clarke relished the sight of the other woman swallowing hard, Lexa needing a few moments to steady her breathing. "I believe you're well aware what they think, Clarke." Lexa spoke, her words leaving her in a strained sigh, the woman's head dipping to rest atop Clarke's.

She offered a thoughtful hum in return, before bringing a hand up from Lexa's thigh to once more tuck some stray strands behind the woman's ear, clearing Clarke's line of sight to Lexa's face. "And what do you think? What do you want?" She responded in kind, all soft whispers and wonder, closely watching Lexa's face for every glimmer of undefined emotion in her eyes, every flicker of a smile, every slight crinkle of her brow, just wanting to know for sure what it was that Lexa wanted.

"I do not surrender, Clarke. But...I think I might like an alliance with such a captivating princess." Lexa whispered in kind, bright glimmering green eyes scanning Clarke's face with renewed intensity once the shaky words had left her. "Consider this a formal offer."

Clarke read between the lines, her heart doing somersaults at the turn of events; she could feel herself awash with nerves, just barely repressing the shuddering effect of them so that she could palm Lexa's cheek with the confidence the brunette needed right now. At least one of them needed to not be a mess of nerves, and given that Clarke really DID want to see about whatever this was with Lexa, she'd take the lead in that.

"It's fortunate I'm willing to let those three victories slide, Commander." Clarke noted with a cheeky smile, her hope to relieve Lexa of some tension seeming to work as a small, amused smile broke out across the woman's face. "In that case, I'm willing to accept the offer...but without a signature, we might need another way to make it official, Lexa." She finished, placing a bit of breathless emphasis on the woman's name as she tilted her head up and caressed her cheek, adoring the way Lexa's eyelids drooped and fluttered at her gesture.

"Maybe we do..." Lexa mumbled, barely offering any notice before their lips met, Lexa's hand immediately rising to take hold of Clarke's hair and maintain the languid, curious pace. Clarke was nearly overwhelmed by the sheer emotion Lexa was sending her way, in the press of her lips, the swipe of her tongue, the way Lexa pulled and held her close as if she were precious. It was almost sensory overload, yet all she wanted was more, returning every wordless request, every gesture of need with one of her own.

And just as Clarke found herself moving to shift over onto Lexa's lap, the brunette's lips were gone, and then her hands, all in the span of a second. Clarke struggled to keep up with the change, eyes fluttering open and trying to find the body that had now vanished. It took a moment for oxygen to return to her lungs, and for her eyes to focus enough to spot that comfortable bare shoulder she'd been nestled against for the past while.

Except it was across the room now, and getting farther away by the second, Lexa backing away quickly, eyes wide and fearful, her kiss-swollen mouth gaping ever so slightly as her chest heaved with heavy, laboured breaths. Clarke reached out, still confused and yearning, but two more steps put Lexa out of sight and into the foyer. And a few seconds later had the front door slamming closed in haste.

Clarke sat there on the couch, blanket halfway discarded and bunched up across her lap as remained still beside where Lexa had just been. Where Lexa had made her intentions known. Where Lexa had kissed her senseless. Clarke wasn't sure why Lexa had left, but as her haze lifted, and the sounds of Asia's 'Heat of the Moment' met her ears, she thought that maybe Anya was some sort of prophet. Maybe that's all the kiss was, just a product of the heat of a moment together.

Freshly despondent and utterly alone, Clarke was at a loss over what to do with herself. Her tendency to over-think was more than prepared to overwhelm her, and she knew she really didn't need that ruining her night; that would make for a terribly long two or so hours at minimum.

No matter what went down with Lexa, she needed to stay composed for the woman's sake, for Octavia's sake, and her own. Clarke took three long, deep breaths, and looked at the clock hanging near the bookshelf. She had time to figure this all out. She could keep her word and get Lexa out of tonight safely, free of Anya and Lincoln's peer pressure.

But why did it have to feel like she'd just been abandoned to fight a battle on her own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There's part three down and out. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! Just one more left to close it off.
> 
> If anyone's interested, Anya's (not so) sneaky "Setting The Mood" playlist (and what I listened to when writing most of this fic) is:  
> The Outfield - "Your Love"  
> Foreigner - "I Want To Know What Love Is"  
> Rod Stewart - "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy"  
> Christina Aguilera - "Genie in a Bottle"  
> Desire - "Under Your Spell"  
> Asia - "Heat of the Moment"  
> Alias - "More Than Words Can Say"  
> Teddy Pendergrass - "Turn Off The Lights"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke encounters Anya again as she tries to find ways to spend the rest of her night, and to convince Anya and Lincoln that Lexa wasn't ready. Not difficult with Lexa having disappeared after their kiss, so why does it still feel so hard?

Clarke had waited a little over five minutes before deciding that it was likely Lexa wasn't coming back. And honestly, she wasn't going to push anything and try finding the woman; no, she'd respect the initial gameplan and figure something out about how to let Lexa's friends know she just wasn't ready. That was the plan, and Clarke would see it through, she owed Lexa that much.

Still, Clarke knew she had time to kill, and that she had to avoid the bonfire. She wasn't an alcoholic, but she often found herself a little more pliable when she was sad or disapppointed in herself, and if she was offered a peer or a drink, she knew she'd probably have one. Clarke still had to get Octavia home, which meant she had to stay sober, which meant avoiding the bonfire.

Which is why she was sitting atop the washing machine an hour later, blanket draped across her shoulders as she finished up an episode of Daredevil on her phone. She'd spent a few minutes wandering Lincoln's house, avoiding random stragglers when they popped up. She had never taken the time to get a good look at the home, certainly not in detail; it was a nice place, but every room had Clarke imagining what a younger Lincoln, Anya and Lexa had gotten up to, which brought her to the laundry room. No such questions there, which was a nice reprieve.

The bitter chill of the laundry room, however, reminded Clarke that even if Lexa had gone home instead of running off aimlessly, the woman had to trek through the cold gusts of wind outside, which had at times been strong enough to feel as if the house itself was shivering. And as much as Clarke had tried to believe that the walk was a short one, and that Lexa was safe and warm indoors, she couldn't help but worry. Lexa was a grown woman, certainly physically capable of handling herself, but she herself was deeply aware of how emotions can make a person react badly, and if Lexa was anything tonight, it was emotional.

The music from Anya's room had long since stopped, so when Clarke heard footsteps approaching her temporary hideout, she couldn't help but feel a little anxious, a whole plethora of potential responses lining up with any and all possible persons in her mind. When the door opened and a slightly dazed looking Anya strolled in, Clarke let out a sigh of relief, having been a little unsure how to handle Lexa if the woman had returned.

Her sigh immediately grabbed the tall blonde's attention, those dazed eyes sharpening immediately as they focused on Clarke, giving her a long look before scanning the rest of the room. "What're you doing in here?" Anya asked slowly, her enunciation clearer than before, which gave Clarke little comfort given the confusion and suspicion in the woman's eyes.

"I came in here to check my phone. Didn't seem like the kind of place randoms could corner me with drunken conversations." Clarke answered easily, having concocted her reason about a half hour back. By Anya's slow, delayed nod, she wasn't entirely sure the woman believed her.

"Makes sense. Where's Lexa?" The woman asked as she crossed the room and opened up the door to the dryer, pulling out a small bottle of Fireball. Clarke watched the woman's lips stretch into a smirk before Anya hopped onto the dryer beside Clarke.

"She needed some air." Clarke noted, her answer clean and concise, and hardly a lie given that Lexa did rush out into the cold November night directly after their kiss.

Anya hummed in return and took a sip of her whiskey. "No one's messed with either of you, right?" Anya's eyes narrowed in suspicion once more with her question, but thankfully it was easy enough to answer.

"No, not at all. As if you and Lincoln would let that happen." Clarke answered, Anya's eyebrows raising in apparent question of her remark, which was a little absurd. "Anya, it's been pretty obvious that you and Lincoln have kept us pretty isolated tonight."

Anya let out an annoyed sounding scoff. "Yeah, well, I was supposed to stick around the house in case Lexa showed, but I got dragged out to the bonfire because some jackasses nearly lit the fucking shrubs on fire. By the time I got back, Luna was a crying mess, and you and Lexa were cozying up in the kitchen." The woman stated with more than a little guilt in her voice. It certainly seemed like Anya had bad timing, but it wasn't something Clarke thought she should beat herself up over.

"Say you were around to see Lexa and Luna have their spat...what then? Lexa still would have seen her, and Luna still would have pushed her. I don't think there would have been any avoiding that." Clarke said with hopefully enough mustered up confidence to convince Anya that it all had been more or less inevitable. "I mean, if something didn't happen then, it would have happened eventually. Better it got over with early."

"I would have done something. Anything would have been better than not being there." Anya shot back, words cool and steely as the machines they were perched upon.

"I know this is personal for you, but you can't make this about yourself. Lexa decided to come here tonight, Lexa said what she said, and Lexa decided the night was salvageable without needing you to beat Luna up for pushing her around. She needed to be in control, so can you say you would have allowed her that had you been there? Would you have been able to give her the quiet visit she needed with her friends after that?" Clarke asked, hoping to push home the message that yeah, Anya felt bad for not being there, but Lexa was an adult. She made her own decisions, and asked what she needed of Anya, and the older blonde didn't need to take away that important sense of control after everything that had happened. She didn't fail Lexa.

Anya stared Clarke down for a few long seconds before taking a longer swig of her whiskey, barely even flinching from its burn. "You keep saying Luna pushed Lexa. As in, not pressured or coerced, but actually...she pushed Lexa." Anya's voice grew lower and harder as she spoke, those eyes blooming with fire in a way that reminded Clarke not to get on the woman's bad side.

"Yes. She was...very grabby, and when Lexa rejected her, Luna pushed her against a wall." Clarke clarified, fighting from shrinking away as Anya let out a legitimately worrisome growl. "Can you tell me you wouldn't have jumped in and earned a shiny new charge of physical assault?"

"I would have ripped her spine from her body, and beaten her corpse with it. She had no right." Anya grit out, her white knuckle grip around the alcohol surprisingly not having shattered the bottle yet.

Clarke decided it was probably a good time to settle the woman down. A drunk, potentially violent Anya could maybe cause trouble. Cautiously, and carefully, Clarke brought her hand over to cover Anya's nearest. "Lexa just wanted a normal night. She wanted to see you and Lincoln, here in this icebox of a home instead of at the police station. She wouldn't have wanted that, even if Luna was wrong to do that. You giving her a good night, and a promise for lunch sometime soon...that'd mean more to her than anything else. Well, maybe with the exception of you not playing that football song anymore around her."

She watched Anya's eyes close, the tension slowly escaping the woman's body as a low laugh escaped her. "She _hates_ that song." Anya mumbled, the hint of a smirk on her lips.

"You should have seen her pouting up a storm, she was so annoyed with you." Clarke added with a grin, happy to see that anger slowly washing away in favor of mirth, even if it was a little forced.

"Lexa's so easy to tease. She doesn't let it show as often these days, but it's still hilarious." Anya noted with a smile as she leaned back against a pile of folded towels. "I take it she wasn't a fan of my playlist either."

Clarke laughed and shook her head, remembering how Lexa had seemed legitimately angry, she was so annoyed. "She said she'd kill you. But within a few seconds, she was poking fun at your taste in music. We got a lot of good laughs from it, so I don't think she minded in the end."

"Did you insult my taste in music as well?" Anya shot back, sending a hard glare Clarke's way, the woman looking legitimately offended.

Clarke gauged Anya's expression for a few moments before letting out a nervous laugh. "I'd be a hypocrite to, but I'm not sure your attempt to set the mood really did the trick, Anya."

Anya hummed and set her alcohol down beside her. "You're telling me not one of those songs got you some action?" Anya asked with a teasing grin, one that faded as Clarke struggled and failed to think up a reasonable response, and hoped in vain that the warmth in her cheeks wasn't visible. "How long has Lexa been out getting air?"

Clarke hopped off the washer and stretched out her limbs, deciding it was best to try and avoid the question, given she really didn't have an answer that wouldn't likely hurt Anya. "Not too long. Why don't we move to the kitchen? It's more comfy, and I feel like some hot chocolate to warm me up."

"Yeah..." Anya mumbled, face falling ever so slightly as the woman saw through her lie and seemed to put two and two together. It sucked, because yeah, Anya tossed on the playlist, but nothing that happened was her fault, and Clarke hated that Anya was shifting some of that guilt to herself.

She tugged on the veteran's hand and pulled her off the dryer, Clarke trying to think of ways to salvage the situation as they made their way toward the kitchen. Ultimately, all she could think of was a brief squeeze of her hand and a smile as she departed to gather ingredients again; maybe that wasn't much, but Anya's brief sad smile seemed to at least provide a little comfort. And Clarke supposed that it was good for one of them, at least, to feel something along those lines at the moment.

* * *

"You didn't!" Clarke exclaimed with a laugh, shaking her head at Anya's antics, imagining the woman sneaking around and finding reasons to play 'If You Think You're Lonely Now' so Luna would get upset and leave.

The older blonde just smiled proudly. "Of course I did. Lincoln loves Bobby Womack, and maybe I just happened to play the song on blast whenever Luna stopped by for a visit. Or when they Skyped. And a few intrusive ways that would only incriminate me if I told you of them. It's the least she deserved...and it's not like it wasn't true. She's been a lonely wreck since Lexa broke up with her." Anya stated with a happy sigh. "I think Lincoln caught on two weeks ago, but he hasn't done anything about it. I mean, he loves Luna, she's family, but Lexa's been his best friend for over a decade, and she treated Lexa like dirt for the last year of their relationship. So yeah, she deserved it. It was worth it."

Clarke hummed in amusement and took a sip of her hot chocolate, knowing she'd had probably one too many mugs of it that night. Still, it kept her warm, and it was a sort of comfort, so she decided to give herself a break given the circumstances. "I'm not usually one for vengeance...I learned the hard way that it doesn't make me feel better. Still, I'll give you credit for your dedication."

Anya nodded and took another drink from her mug, finishing off the remaining marshmallows floating at the top. "So...you're on a date with Lexa..." Anya started, her words stilling Clarke in place, the younger blonde immediately unsure where Anya would go with her line of conversation. "I heard your story from Lincoln, it's cute, and I like you, Clarke. But you wouldn't be on a date with Lexa unless you saw potential for more than one night together, more than a test run, am I right?"

Clarke steadied her breath and decided to nod, figuring that under her and Lexa's narrative, that would be a possibility. And given how much she enjoyed Lexa's company earlier in the night, it was true for the real her as well. If Lexa had been open to something, Clarke would have grabbed that bull by the horns.

"I do like Lexa that way, yes. But if she doesn't like me, or if it's too much for her, I can handle that." Clarke answered, feeling it was about as diplomatic and accurate as she could manage at the moment without taking too long to figure out something better. She didn't want Anya suspicious.

"Okay. I believe you're telling the truth. Just tell me...what is it about Lexa that drew you in?" Anya continued, her line of questioning making Clarke a little nervous. It was all sounding very much like the intro to 'the talk', and Anya was already a little scary, and Lexa had left, so Clarke felt a little trapped.

And maybe, just a teensy bit, she let her mouth speak before her brain could catch up.

"She looked at me." Clarke blurted out, feeling immediately warm in the face as she realized what she said. Her eyes found Anya's sharp, thoughtful ones that were clearly assessing her. "I mean, I was just...she just...Lexa looked at me. And if there's one thing I've learned, she's all in her eyes...everything's there, and I wanted to know more about her. I still do."

Anya was silent for seconds stretching into minutes, and Clarke could feel herself sweating a little in panic that maybe she'd answered wrong. She was just starting to put together an exit strategy when Anya broke out into a soft smile. "Luna liked her arms and her voice. I like your reason better. Better than Luna coaxing Lexa to speak Spanish to her all the time."

"Lexa speaks Spanish?" Clarke asked, not really having considered the possibility. Clarke knew she herself was passable, sort of, but that was to be expected having grown up in Texas. Though given Lexa's business, she figured that maybe speaking more languages than just English would be a big plus.

"My mom knows seven languages and works as a translator here in DC. We taught Lexa shortly after we moved here." Anya noted with more than a little pride, before suddenly breaking out into light laughter. "God, she was so fucking obnoxious. My mom told her that TV and music were the fun ways to learn, and so Lexa would just recite lines and sing all the damn time. There was this one Belanova song that she...fuck, it was just about the cheesiest, bright-eyed pop song in the history of existence, and this is ME saying that. And Lexa would just sing it everywhere. On the bus, when she was studying, when we were out on our bikes. I love her like a sister, but sometimes I wanted to punch her. I tended to settle for throwing things at her face instead, but...ugh."

Clarke found herself grinning at Anya's rambling, enjoying the thoughts of cute little Lexa following Anya around and singing happily to some song that grated on Anya's nerves. She couldn't help but think that maybe Anya playing 'Your Love' was some sort of payback for the years of that.

"I don't know, that sounds kind of adorable to me." Clarke said with a shrug, making to ask about what other hijinks Lexa got into as a kid when the back door opened, Lincoln and Octavia stumbling in. Well, Lincoln not so much, looking fairly sober; Octavia, on the other hand, looked decently drunk and shivering in Lincoln's arms.

Quickly, Clarke rose to her feet, taking hold of her long discarded blanket and crossing the floor to wrap Octavia in it. "There we go...you both come in to get warm? I hear the wind out there, it must be getting cold as hell."

"It is. I've got a few friends still hanging out by the bonfire, but the party's winding down, and we thought we'd come in and make good on your offer earlier." Lincoln answered with a smile as Octavia let out a goofy hum of contentment, Clarke's best friend seeming much happier now that she was out of the cold and all bundled up.

"Yeah, I made some about fifteen minutes ago, I'll get you both fresh mugs, just take a seat." Clarke stated, moving to the kitchen cabinets and pulling down two of the few remaining clean mugs.

Clarke quickly prepped two fresh mugs, topping them both with cinnamon and the last of the marshmallows , and made her way back to the table, taking a seat beside Anya after handing Octavia and Lincoln their drinks. "That should help fight the chill." She noted, hoping the two wouldn't bring up the inevitable questions that Clarke was still trying to find believable answers to.

Sadly, Octavia's usual blunt self had to chase away Clarke's hopes. "So, where's Lexa? By the way you two were out on the swing, I figured you'd be attached at the hip in here."

Clarke took a moment to sip from her mug, buying herself a bit of time to respond, only to be surprised by Anya speaking up. "Lexa went out to get some air." The woman answered, matching the claim Clarke had made nearly twenty five minutes earlier.

It wasn't one that would necessarily stand up, but Clarke had the foresight to ask her friend Raven to text her a little before two o'clock so that she could explain it away as Lexa having not felt well and gone home. A flimsy cover-up, but the best she'd been able to think up until that point, and she hoped it would translate to Lexa having left for not being ready, so that the woman could get off the hook for the foreseeable future.

"I'm sure she'll be back soon enough." Clarke added as confidently as she could, smiling at the sight of Octavia and Lincoln leaning into each other. They looked happy, honestly, and maybe Clarke was willing to believe her best friend in that he was it for her. Despite their differences, they just seemed to fit.

Memories of Lexa crept up at the edges of her mind at that realization, memories she had to push back because she and Lexa weren't the same. They'd been on a fake date, and as easy as it was opening up to Lexa, and being affectionate with her, and teasing her, they weren't the same. Words like maybe, and almost could describe them, but it was never fully real. And Clarke accepted that, because that had been their plan tonight. Even if she had really hoped Lexa would have changed her mind, the woman hadn't, in the end.

"What'd you two get up to in here, anyway? Anythin' fun, Clarke?" Octavia asked with suspicious eyes and a big drunken grin.

"They spent their time being boring as hell on the living room couch." Anya groaned, once again answering for Clarke. It was a nice gesture, but she knew that Octavia, and probably Lincoln as well, would think that to be a little suspicious.

"If by boring, you mean we made fun of the playlist you serenaded us with the set the mood...then yes, we were utterly boring, Anya." Clarke added quickly with a sly grin, averting her eyes from Anya's narrowing ones to catch the surprise in Lincoln's.

"You didn't..." Lincoln started, earned an exasperated scoff from Anya, who rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. The older blonde's behaviour only spurred Lincoln on, brow furrowing in frustration. "Anya, you can't just do that, you could have embarrassed Lexa, and she..."

Anya waved a hand dismissively in the air and took a sip from her mug. "You can't hate me for making a _heat of the moment_ decision, Lincoln."

"Oh my god..." Lincoln muttered, a hand rubbing his face in disbelief. "You did not just quote Asia to defend yourself. I'm serious, Anya!"

Clarke decided it was probably best to jump in, knowing Anya might have been battling guilt for unwittingly getting them to the point where Lexa felt the need to flee. It hadn't truly been her fault, she had only been trying to help, in her own misguided way. "Lincoln, it's okay, the only one she embarrassed was herself by putting on Rod Stewart."

"That song is a masterpiece." Anya grumbled, drowning the aggression toward her music with the last of her hot chocolate. "Anyway, what did you jerks get up to out there?"

Clarke smiled and laughed along to Lincoln and Octavia's stories, of how Lincoln's friend and returning beer pong champion had been soundly defeated by his visiting cousin Indra, who was a stone-cold sharpshooter at the game. Which had apparently surprised Lincoln, as he'd never seen her drink before in his life. The two detailed a number of anecdotes from the night out by the bonfire, but by the time they'd made their way through the fourth, Clarke's focus started slipping.

Mostly, because Octavia would glance at the clock on occasion and cast Clarke these confused, then increasingly pitying looks as minutes passed, and Lexa was still missing. If anything, Clarke was thankful that Anya was speaking enough for the both of them, keeping Lincoln and Octavia going, but it was getting late. Clarke knew that they'd all pack it in soon enough, so with that in mind, midway through a story about some Tristan guy that Anya insisted was an asshole of the highest degree, Clarke got up and went to bottle up the last of the hot chocolate and clean up her mess.

Clarke was just wiping up the last of the ground chocolate when the white noise of the discussion behind her went silent. For a moment, Clarke assumed that maybe they'd just run out of things to talk about, which was a definite possibility.

"Clarke?" The blonde heard the familiar, if strained, voice from across the kitchen and froze. Cautiously, she turned around and saw Lexa standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking...well, all kinds of messed up. Her hair was a frizzy mess, cheeks red from the wind and the cold, posture slightly more compact as her body trembled from the clear chill that had settled deep into Lexa's bones.

But Lexa's eyes, all big and green and beautiful, were heart-wrenchingly brim with remorse. For a moment, Clarke worried that it'd be as clear to the others as it was to her, but her body crossed the kitchen floor as she decided to prioritize Lexa's well-being over that. She stretched out a hand for a moment, before stilling it inches from Lexa, eyes meeting Lexa's in a silent request for permission. Because she was relieved as anything to see Lexa looked alive and well, but she needed to make sure of that first.

Clarke watched the woman swallow hard, Lexa averting her eyes for a fleeting moment before returning her gaze and nodding. Quickly as she could, Clarke slipped Lexa's frigid coat off and pulled Lexa into a hug, her hands rubbing at Lexa's back in hopes of creating some heat. It didn't take long to learn that her own body temperature wouldn't cut it.

"Lincoln, turn the damn furnace on. Lexa, let's get over by the stovetop, it's warmer there." Clarke ordered, shuffling her and Lexa over toward the oven, and grabbing the still hot beverage she'd just bottled up. Slowly, she leaned back out of the hug and brought the bottle of hot chocolate to Lexa's attention. "Sip this, don't guzzle it." She added, hearing some other movement in the room that she assumed was Lincoln.

Lexa just shot her another sad look before opening the bottle's spout and sipping from it. When the sound of the furnace roaring to life filled the air, along with the smell of burning dust, Clarke couldn't help but smile. There was a vent nearby, Lexa was freezing, and it was no time to be frugal.

"Clarke..." Lexa mumbled again between sips, but the blonde just wasn't having it. Honestly, she didn't feel entirely ready to talk to Lexa about what happened between them, not until Lexa was safe from hypothermia.

"Later, okay? Let's just warm you up first." Clarke asked, drawing the smallest of nods from the brunette, letting Clarke feel relief for the second time in the past minute or so. Certainly enough to sag against Lexa and return to hugging her; sure, her hands were rubbing Lexa's back again to try and help warm her up, but Clarke couldn't help but feel a need to hold her, to comfort her. To let her know that she was alright without her, but happier having Lexa safe in her arms. "I'm glad you're okay." She whispered, letting her head fall onto Lexa's shoulder, hoping that was still alright with the brunette, because she was all of a sudden feeling the effects of having been awake for a long time.

Lexa holding her close, one hand holding her drink at Clarke's waist while the other cradled Clarke's head, made Clarke deeply aware of her good fortune; it was increasingly clear that Lexa didn't mind her affection, at least not in that moment. "I left you here alone." Lexa spoke, voice quiet, but certainly audible to anyone else in the room, which meant Clarke had to respond tactically, even if she was tiring quickly.

"Only for a little bit, and these three behaved themselves, mostly." Clarke noted softly, peeking out at the three others by the table. Anya looked entirely conflicted between staying as still as a statue, and rushing over to probably hug the crap out of the brunette. Lincoln just looked thoughtful, though the hint of dejection in his eyes had Clarke thinking that he realized something might have gone down between her and Lexa. Octavia, well, she clearly knew something had gone down, and even drunk Octavia was clear-headed enough to shoot her sympathetic glances.

All in all, it was a festering pity party over there, and Clarke wasn't sure that was what Lexa needed at the moment. With that in mind, she decided to try and hold out until the three could recompose themselves. "Keep sipping that elixir, Lexa. We're not moving from here until you're back to a decent body temperature."

"You realize that I could just lift you and carry you wherever I wanted to go, don't you?" Lexa shot back, a tiny bit of playfulness blooming within her words, but Clarke knew that was dangerous. Maybe not for Lexa, but for her, given that played a part in drawing Clarke close enough to feel a connection with her. That had to be nipped in the bud.

"I think as your friend, you could do me one simple kindness, to keep me from worrying." Clarke answered warmly, but with a firmness that sent the message that she wasn't ready to take no for an answer.

Lexa's hold on her slackened, an inch or two of space put between them as Lexa took a half step away. For a moment, Clarke thought Lexa was actually going to deny her request. "Oh...of course, Clarke." The woman said with obvious, if veiled disappointment, a tone that had Clarke more than a little confused given everything that had gone down. Lexa had to understand the position they were in, both in playing to the gameplan and pushing the idea that the brunette wasn't ready, along with the fact that Lexa's personal decision about the both of them had culminated in immediate regret. Clarke didn't see much reason for disappointment, at least not any that Lexa wouldn't be able to mask.

"Hey, Clarke?" Octavia's voice rang out, bringing the blonde's attention to her best friend, who was getting up off her chair, still swaying slightly even if she had sobered up a little. "I think I'm going to stay the night here, so whenever you're good to head out, that's okay."

Clarke waited in place as Octavia and Lincoln walked over, separating from Lexa only when Octavia's arms spread out for their customary hug. She crossed the two steps it took to reach her best friend and enveloped her in a tight embrace, happy that O had found someone good for her, someone who kept her best friend smiling. "Sweet dreams, O. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

Octavia let out a hum in confirmation and gave Clarke an extra squeeze before stepping away and rubbing her eyes sleepily. A tap on her shoulder had Clarke spotting Lincoln at her side, who brought her into a lighter hug in turn. "Thank you for trying, Clarke." He whispered, words barely louder than a breath, but she was just able to make them out.

Clarke nodded, happy to know that at the very least, he seemed to have bought into the notion that Lexa wasn't ready for anyone new. Their plan had worked, with him and Anya clearly having backed off from their hopes for Lexa. "Good night, Lincoln."

Once the duo turned and made their way out of the kitchen, Clarke's attention turned to Anya, who looked like she was formulating her own escape. After what time she'd spent with the older blonde that night, she figured the woman just wanted to disappear, but also felt it was pretty damn likely that Anya and Lexa needed a few moments alone. So with that in mind, she nudged the brunette and gestured with her head toward Anya. "Hey, I think Anya needs to pack it in. Can you see her off?" She asked quietly, shooting Lexa a pleading look when the woman hesitated. "She needs you."

Lexa gave a slow nod and crossed the floor to where Anya was. Clarke returned to cleaning the last of the dishes, but kept the two women in her sight through their reflection in the window. Lexa whispering with Anya, Anya pulling the brunette into a tight hug, Lexa leading them out of the kitchen and down the hall to the guest room. It felt a little intrusive, but Clarke wrote it off as just wanting to make sure both women were okay. She may have only known both of them for a single night, but she couldn't help but care for them; each in different ways, certainly, but she still cared.

It only took five or so minutes to finish up washing and drying the leftover mugs and placing them all back where they came from. By then, Lexa was still gone, and Clarke was left thinking up what to talk about with the brunette, and about how strange her night had been. Helped stop a domestic spat. Concocted a fake date plan to help a random woman out. Had a good time with random woman, and kind of sort of started falling for her. Kissed her. Lost her. Talked to and reassured woman's friends, continuing with fake date plan. Succeeded at fake date plan.

All in all, it had been a strange night, and a few minutes later when Lexa appeared down the hall, hand covering her eyes, Clarke couldn't help but think that even though they made good on their plan, it came with some other complications they hadn't gameplanned for.

Clarke grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder as she cautiously approached Lexa, deciding to keep things simple to start with. "Hey...are you alright?" She asked softly, hoping Lexa was just tired and not upset.

She watched Lexa swallow once, twice, before offering the slightest of nods. "If it's not too much to ask...will you please drive me home?" Lexa asked, voice thick and straining despite how calm the brunette clearly tried to make herself sound.

It had Clarke's heart aching at the sight and sound. "Of course. I'll get your coat from the kitchen...I'll be right back, and then we can head out." She answered, earning another slight nod.

It only took a few moments for Clarke to rush back and grab the discarded coat, but by the time she'd made it to the foyer where Lexa was waiting, the brunette had composed herself. With the exception of the slightly visible puffy redness around the woman's eyes that made her green irises pop, Clarke wouldn't have suspected at all that Lexa had been upset.

Clarke definitely wasn't looking forward to the cold outside, or how cold it'd be in her car, but she had to get home anyway, so she'd brave it. She'd just slipped on her boots when she noticed Lexa standing there, wearing a red parka, her usual jacket in her hands.

"You didn't wear a jacket here, so I thought you could wear mine again. If you would like to." Lexa noted quickly, perhaps nervously, the barest hint of pink blooming in her cheeks. "If not, I'm certain Anya wouldn't mind you borrowing her winter jacket."

Clarke nodded and offered a smile as she retrieved the coat from the brunette's hands, Lexa much tenser in her offering than she had been the first time hours earlier. "Thank you." She added as she slipped the garment on, knowing it'd keep some of the chill away during their brief trip.

With a quick press of a button her car's doors unlocked, and the two left Lincoln's house, Lexa ensuring it was locked before they made their way through the wintery weather and into Clarke's trusty old Subaru Forester. Clarke immediately started it up and put the heat on full blast, and turned on her vehicle's single fancier feature, the heated seats.

Clarke rubbed her hands to keep them warm, regretting once more that she hadn't thought to bring her own jacket or gloves with her, before placing her hands on the freezing wheel and looking Lexa's way for directions.

"My house is down the street, to the left." Lexa noted quietly, leading Clarke to shift her car into drive and make a left down the dark road. Honestly, she'd expected silence from Lexa the whole way, and was surprised a minute or two later when the woman worked to create conversation. Especially conversation referencing what happened earlier. "I'm sorry, Clarke. I...need you to understand how sorry I am for what happened."

Clarke shook her head in dismissal, because even if her heart still hurt at the thought of what might have been, she'd managed to help Lexa out, and that was still a win. There wasn't any reason to apologize. "It's fine, Lexa, I understand. Besides, we did it, right? Anya and Lincoln are almost certainly going to back off on trying to hook you up." She replied, not wanting to bring focus to what happened between them. As much as she understood it, the kiss had been too wonderful, and the rejection too immediate, for her to not feel like her heart was being squeezed every time she thought of it.

"Anya was particularly...upset. She felt she was at fault, and I had difficulty convincing her otherwise." Lexa noted quietly as they continued down the street, the drive already a fair bit farther than Clarke had anticipated.

"She sees herself as your older sister. She just wanted you to be safe and happy, and rational or not, she feels responsible for that. So the whole thing with Luna, tonight not going as she'd hoped it would, and you disappearing...even if it doesn't make sense, she felt guilty. I tried telling her she shouldn't, but she seems kind of stubborn on that front." Clarke said in return, drawing a low chuckle from Lexa.

"She's the most stubborn person I know." Lexa added, pointing toward a driveway halfway hidden by shrubs just up the road. "I'm in there, thanks."

Clarke slowed her vehicle and turned into the semi-secluded driveway. The property was much woodsier than Lincoln's had been, and the way up to the house was a bit longer, but eventually she pulled up in front of the main walkway and put the vehicle in park.

Before Clarke could get her hand off the shifter, Lexa's hand had covered hers, the brunette's green eyes focused intensely on the dashboard in front of her.

"Clarke, I should not have left you, earlier." Lexa started slowly, sharply shaking her head when Clarke went to respond. "I shouldn't have. Ever since you helped me when I arrived at Lincoln's, you've made me trust you... even after being shocked of myself for allowing it, I trusted you, Clarke. I trusted I had nothing to fear from you, and when that sunk in, that very trust had me out the door for forsaking my core belief."

Clarke waited through the silence as she digested Lexa's words, feeling a deep-seated warmth at the understanding of having earned the woman's trust so quickly. After a hard swallow and two deep breaths from the brunette, Clarke brought her other hand over to cover Lexa's, effectively sandwiching it between her own.

That, it seemed, was enough to spur Lexa on. "Nine weeks. I've spent the last nine weeks trying to just survive losing a woman I loved, demanding a strength of will from myself that I wasn't certain I owned. I had decided early on that love was weakness. The past year and a half, I ignored Anya, ignored Lincoln, and blindly loved this woman who betrayed me and may as well have torn my heart from my chest. So I decided that love was weakness, and that to survive, I had to survive alone." Lexa continued quietly, eyes shifting upward to gaze at the quiet cabin-like home ahead.

Clarke had suffered heartbreak herself, she'd lived through desolate periods where her greatest comfort had been knowing the only person who could hurt her was herself, which had her feeling a little invincible, if empty. At least, until someone special came along and broke away her armor and made her heart beat again for more than just purely anatomical reasons. And as wonderful as that could feel at times, it was terrifying, because it was facing vulnerability all over again.

Clarke bit back a small gasp at the realization, knowing deeply how hard it must have been for Lexa to admit all this.

"The last nine weeks, I've worn solitude like armor, until tonight. A few hours later, and I feel burdened by it. I don't want to survive alone." Lexa mused, her eyes finally finding Clarke's, glimmering greens peering at her as if she was looking deep into her soul for an answer to her unspoken question.

Clarke blindly found the seatbelt buckle and released it, her heart thudding in her chest with renewed hope that warmed her body as if she'd been bathed in the heat of the mid-July sun. "Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?"

"Maybe we do." Lexa mumbled, leaning across the center console to cup Clarke's cheek with the kind of tenderness she'd adored earlier in the night. The blonde's cheeks heated at the touch as she shifted in her seat and angled toward the kiss Lexa pulled her into.

Lexa's lips moved with a greater urgency than before, each press of her lips, each stroke of a thumb against her cheek, each teasing swipe of her tongue was entirely deliberate, drawing Clarke into the whirlwind of hope and yearning that had been trapped inside Lexa without release for the past few hours. Clarke's hand clutched at the brunette's bicep for stability as she felt her bones turn to jelly inside Lexa's embrace, the leather seat and center console being the only things aside from Lexa keeping her upright.

Just when Clarke was starting to feel overwhelmed, and desperately in need of oxygen, Lexa pulled away, forehead resting against the blonde's. "Clarke..." Lexa whispered in reverence, and Clarke wasn't sure she'd ever get enough of hearing her name spill from Lexa's mouth like water from the holy grail. "You make me feel like myself again, but new in ways I'm not sure I can describe. I'd like to try this...us. If you're willing."

Clarke's teeth ground into her lower lip at the night of Lexa so clearly nervous, and wide-eyed, and cute. It had been a long night full of surprises, but she wasn't sure she would have had it any other way, with the sole exception being if Lexa had stayed after that first kiss.

"I already said yes a few hours ago. I haven't changed my mind." Clarke noted, a slow grin blooming on her lips that a gentle press of Lexa's lips couldn't diminish in the least.

Her eyes, however, did flutter to a close as Lexa caressed her cheek, the soothing sensation a lovely reminder of the easy intimacy they've already built. "Will you stay the night with me?" Lexa's words rolled over her like a gentle wave, Clarke's mind needing a moment to catch up to them, but by then Lexa was speaking again, with much more haste in her delivery. "I'm not asking for sex, just...your company. I have a guest room if you would prefer as well, though you would certainly be welcome in mine if you choose."

It might have been a little forward, but Clarke trusted Lexa. She was comfortable with Lexa. And the forty minute drive home wasn't anything she would remotely look forward to. "And tomorrow?" Clarke asked, definitely not writing off the distinct possibility of accepting Lexa's offer. She just wanted to figure out what Lexa saw for them going forward.

"Tomorrow, I'll make us breakfast, since you were sweet enough to treat me with dessert tonight. And...perhaps we could bring everyone together for lunch and...clear the air?" Lexa answered softly, but confidently, her plan interesting enough to have the blonde opening her eyes again so she could better gauge the woman's sincerity.

"You want us to come clean about tonight?" Clarke asked, feeling like it was a good idea, even if it might earn her some punches to her shoulder from Octavia.

"I wouldn't want to start a relationship with you based off of a lie. You don't deserve that weight, and neither does my family. And I know Anya wants to see me, Lincoln as well, and..." Lexa explained, stilling in surprise when Clarke leaned forward and interrupted her with a quick kiss, not having wanted Lexa to be the only instigator on that front.

"That sounds perfect." Clarke asserted happily, before pecking Lexa's lips again. "Now, can we take this inside? Hopefully to somewhere comfy and warm?"

Lexa's smile may have shone brilliantly at that moment, Clarke wouldn't have noticed; instead, those eyes of Lexa drew her in with their forests of greens, the viridian streaks of the wildest meadows, and the stormy greys that would always remind her of this night. Those eyes told her of all the depths she would explore in that woman, of the adventures she would have at her side, and of the hope and adoration so clearly wishing to find a home in Clarke's heart.

And Clarke knew in that instant that her own blues were shining with the same promises, her heart open and willing to take Lexa in and make a place for her in the world of Clarke Griffin, just as Lexa had offered a place in hers.

And maybe one day those spaces would feel like home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being so late, the midnighter at my work dislocated his kneecap, and called in for the whole weekend. I needed hours, so I took half his shift hours, and I've been kind of wiped from that, and didn't get around to posting this until today.
> 
> Thank you all for your support, I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> *Song Anya refers to by Belanova is 'Tus Ojos', in case you'd like to know my inspiration for that detail. I thought Lexa and Anya being multilingual was important given in the show they are as well.


End file.
